Pokemon-Arceus gave me his Phone Number
by Static Eevee 198
Summary: I'm Jay the shinx, and Arceus gave me his phone number. And so I made the mistake of deciding to text him. And of course, texting him sent my life into total randomness. Now there are legendaries all over my life, millions of text messages from the god of Pokemon, and Arceus himself! I'm starting to wonder if I can stand it...or if everything will go too far.
1. Kool-aid or angering Arceus?

**(A/N) If you are reading this right now, you either:**

 **(1) Saw this story and got interested**

 **(2) Like reading the Author's Notes on random stories a lot**

 **Probably the first one.**

 **So this idea just popped into my head and I decided to do it five minutes later because I dunno, I liked it and thought I wouldn't do it if I waited a few days. Anyways, It's not an extra of The Crystal Explorations, but a whole new actual** **story. I don't know how long it'll be or what my updating schedule will be, because this is just something I'll be doing for fun.**

 **Also, if you like serious, Makes-sense stories, you won't find it here. This story is going to be full of randomness. The title is literally _Arceus gave me his phone number,_ and that's already a pretty random title.**

 **The main character will be Jay, a male shinx. Whenever there's a scene that Jay isn't in, it'll be some other third person POV. Other than that's it's usually going to be Jay's POV in first person.**

 **Also, I don't own Pokemon. If I did, I would make Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games come out every year with plot lines as good as EoT/D/S.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I was in my bedroom, sprawled on my bed, when suddenly I was in a temple made of white stone walls. In the center of the temple room, right in front of me, was Arceus himself.

I blinked hard several times and shook my head. When I was still in the temple, I pinched my forelegs really hard. When nothing but an annoying pain resulted in that, I slapped myself. When that didn't work, well, you probably get the idea by now.

When I was convinced I wasn't dreaming, I looked up at Arceus. He was huge! He also looked angry. That angry look convinced me to hang my head down. Why was I here? What had I done?

"SHINX!" boomed the god of Pokemon from above me. I looked up again at Arcues and gulped.

"Y-yeah?"

"SILENCE! DID YOU JUST _YEAH_ ME?! NOBODY _YEAH_ S ME EXCEPT FOR MY PEEPS!" Arceus yelled.

"Um…"

Arceus stared down at me. "SPEAK TO ME PROPERLY! GREET ME PROPERLY!"

"Um..okay." I said. "Hi, Arceus."

"DID YOU JUST _HI ARCEUS ME?!_ NOBODY _HI ARCEUS_ 'S ME EXCEPT MY PEEPS!"

"…Hello, Arceus?" I tried.

"DID YOU JUST-"

"I get it! Only your peeps can _Hello Arceus_ you!" I said. "How should I talk to you?"

"CALL ME _O' GREAT AND MIGHTY LORD!_ AND SAY, _MAY I SPEAK TO THEE, MY LORD_ BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY TALK TO ME!" Arceus demanded.

"Okay!" I said, hoping the Alpha Pokemon wouldn't incinerate me. "Er…hey, may I-"

"DID YOU JUST _HEY-_ "

"May I speak to thee, my Lord!" I shouted in frustration.

"YES YOU MAY. WHO ARE YOU?" Arceus asked, not catching my exasperated and slightly sarcastic tone.

"Um, my name is Jaser, I'm a shinx." I said.

Arceus laughed. " _JASER?_ WHAT KIND OF RIDICULOUS NAME IS _JASER?"_

"Dude, your name is so complicated some fans think it's ArKEYus and some think it's ArSEEus and once I even met a squirtle who thought your name was Arrzandlansis or something."

"WHAT?! WHAT WAS THIS SQUIRTLE'S NAME?" Arceus asked, his amusement turning into fury.

"I think it was Zecker or Zephyr or something…" I said, racking my memory for the squirtle's name.

"HOLD ON A SEC…" Arceus said. He started to glow, and a minute later he was gone.

* * *

 **Back in** ** _Pokemon-The Crystal Explorations…_**

Leaf was lying on her back on the grass, bored. Blaze was reading a book, and Zephyr was killing dandelions by shooting water at them every time he tried to blow the fluffy white stuff.

"I'm bored!" Leaf announced, rolling over in frustration.

Suddenly, a ten foot tall figure as white as quartz appeared in the sky, lightning clouds booming behind its back dramatically.

"MY NAME IS ARCEUS YOU FOOLISH WATER-TYPE!" the figure boomed, glaring at Zephyr. A lightning bolt flashed from his mouth, hitting Zephyr, as the figure disappeared.

Zephyr was smokey-black and covered in ashes that were still sizzling. Steam and smoke was erupting from his body as the squirtle stood there, his jaw dropping in shock.

Blaze's book dropped out of his claws as he stared at Zephyr, then where the figure had come from. "What was that!?"

"Ow . . ." Zephyr muttered. "I just got hit by lightning. Can someone please help me?"

"Arceus . . .?" Leaf asked herself in awe. "Did Arceus just almost kill Zephyr . . .?"

* * *

 **Back in this story…**

Arceus appeared in front of me again. "SORRY, I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING. NOW, WHERE WERE WE?"

"I'm Jaser the Shinx." I reminded him.

"OH YES, AND I WAS LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE THAT IS A HORRIBLY RIDICULOUS NAME." Arceus said, laughing as he remembered. "JASER, HAHAHA!"

"Fine, just call me Jay!" I said, angry that the god of Pokemon had just laughed at my name. "Everyone calls me Jay, so I guess it's all right if you do, too. 'O great and mighty lord." I added after Arceus's look.

"YES, JAY IS MUCH MORE OF A COOL NAME THAN JASER." Arceus agreed. "PLUS I WON'T LAUGH EVERY TIME I SAY YOUR NAME. ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL ME 'O GREAT AND MIGHTY LORD. THAT WAS A PRANK I WAS EXPIRIMENTING ON, AND YOU FELL FOR IT. YOU CAN JUST CALL ME ARCEUS."

"Why you-" I started, balling a paw into a fist and glaring at Arceus.

"DON'T START A FIGHT WITH ME NOW, I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU BEFORE WE DISCUSS WHY I BROUGHT YOU HERE." Arceus said.

Reluctantly I put down my paw. "Oh yeah, I was wondering about that, actually. So…why _am_ I here?" I asked. "I mean, you've got a _sweet_ temple, but why would you drag a shinx up here? To make me a god?" I tried to suppress a smile after saying that last line, sniggering at my own joke.

"WHY WOULD I MAKE YOU A GOD? YOU'RE PUNIER THAN SHAYMIN!" Arceus said.

I growled as the fist came out again. Arceus gave me a warning glance, and I withdrew my forearm once again, knowing I had to try better to control my temper.

"Just tell me why I'm here," I said.

"YOU STOLE MY JUMBO PITCHER OF KOOL-AID!" Arceus boomed, anger bursting through the Alpha Pokemon from out of nowhere. "I LOVE KOOL-AID!"

"What! No I didn't!" I yelped. "You can't accuse me of stealing your kool-aid! I swear in Arceus's-well, in your name, I guess, that I didn't steal your kool-aid!"

"OF COURSE YOU DID." Arceus said, his anger growing. "YOU'RE A KID, AND KIDS LOVE SUGAR!"

"But I didn't do it!" I said again, feeling frustrated again. "Why would I steal Kool-Aid from the god of all Pokemon if I can simply go get some from my fridge at home!?"

"OH ACTUALLY YOU'VE GOT A POINT THERE." Arceus admitted. " BUT IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT, THEN WHO DID?"

"Uh…Palkia. He's in the corner over there drinking it right now, see?" I said, pointing to the white-and-purple dragon of space, who had been furiously chugging down a humungous pitcher of red juice in the corner behind me until he realized that Arceus was staring at him.

"Did you seriously not notice he was in here this whole time?" I asked, shocked, since I had noticed Palkia a few minutes after getting over the shock of Arceus being in front of me.

"PALKIA!?" Arceus exclamimed. "BRO WHY YOU CHUGGIN' DOWN ON MY KOOL-AID?"

"I-WELL-UH-I…" Palkia stammered, looking guilty. He put down the jug of red liquid and started _slowly_ pushing the jug away from him.

"BRO YOU STOLE MY KOOL-AID!" Arceus yelled angrily, red sparks appearing in the Alpha Pokemon's eyes. "CAN I CALL YOU A FELLOW PEEP IF YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS SWIGGING DOWN ON MY SUPER SUGARY HIGH CALORIE ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED RED DYED DRINKS? AND TO THINK I WAS GOING TO INVITE YOU TO BOWLING NIGHT NEXT WEEK!"

"UMMMM…" Palkia continued moving the pitcher with his foot.

I watched as Arceus continued to blow up at Palkia, enjoying the fight for some odd reason.

"I wonder why he thought _I_ stole his Kool-Aid…" I wondered to myself.

"WHY DID YOU STEAL MY UNHEALTHY ARTIFICIAL BEVERAGE?" Arceus asked, his voice growing in volume and anger.

"I JUST-I WAS-DIDN'T SEE YOUR NAME…ER…" Palkia stammered, backing farther against the wall as a furious Arceus slowly approached him.

Arceus spun the pitcher around to sow his name clearly etched onto the jug.

"OH, DIDN'T SEE THAT..." Palkia said, rubbing the back of his neck and laughing extremely nervously.

"GO TO THE DISTORTION WORLD FOR A WEEK! AND NO TAKE-OUT THIS TIME!" Arceus yelled. A portal appeared at Palkia's feet, and he fell into it screaming.

* * *

 **Distortion World…**

Giritina was just lazing around when suddenly his brother, Palkia, fell from the sky.

"WHAT'D YOU DO THIS TIME?" he asked Palkia, because it wasn't like Palkia had come for a nice visit. Nobody ever visited.

"I TOOK HIS KOOL-AID." Palkia said, slumping next to Giritina. "SO HE SENT ME HERE AGAIN. FOR A WEEK."

"WELL THAT SUCKS FOR YOU, BUT I KINDA LIKE YOU GETTING IN TROUBLE." Giritina admitted. "I FINALLY HAVE SOMEBODY TO KEEP ME COMPANY. A FRIEND!" Giritina felt a little better at this thought, he was so lonely.

"BRO DON'T FRIEND ME I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE ARCEUS IS PUNISHING ME." Palkia said.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS." Giritina said sadly, feeling as if Palkia had stomped on his heart and shattered it. "WANNA GET SOME TAKE-OUT? THERE'S A NEW CORRUPTED FRIED CHICKEN PLACE THAT DELIVERS THAT HAS AWESOME KFC."

"ARCEUS SAID NO TAKE-OUT THIS TIME…" Palkia said glumly.

"UGH! ARCEUS ALWAYS RUINS THE FEW TIMES A CENTURY I HAVE COMPANY!" Giritina growled, frustrated. First sticking him into this corrupted wasteland with no life forever, and then banning Palkia from enjoying a nice take-out meal with him? Giritina growled and picked up the phone. "UGH, FINE, I'LL JUST GET FOOD TO EAT BY MYSELF AGAIN."

* * *

 **Back in Arceus's legendary temple…**

"SORRY I THOUGHT YOU STOLE MY KOOL-AID. I JUST PICKED A RANDOM KID AND DECIDED TO BLAME THEM." Arceus said. "BELIEVE IT OR NOT ONCE AN AZURILL ACTUALLY SNUCK INTO HERE AND TOOK A BOX OF FUDGE FROM HO-OH ONCE."

"No prob," I said, glad Arceus wasn't going to kill me painfully.

Arceus nodded. "STILL, FOR DRAGING YOU INTO THIS MESS, I WILL GIVE YOU-"

 _Three wishes!_ I thought excitedly. _Aw man I'm gonna wish I was rich and then I'll wish I had ultimate video games and then I'll wish I had unlimited wishes and then-_

"MY PHONE NUMBER!"

"Say what?"

"TEXTING WITH GOD! FACE-TIME WITH THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE! DOESN'T THAT SOUND AWESOME?" A piece of paper appeared in front of Arceus, and he took out a pen and began writing.

"No! Not awesome! Why can't you grant me three wishes or give me superpowers or something!" I complained.

"DID YOU SAY I'M NOT AWESOME?!" Arceus boomed, his eyes sparking red again.

"I mean…yay! Arceus's phone number! Woo-hoo!" I laughed nervously. "Can't wait to...text you about...stuff..."

"GOOD. GOODBYE. I'LL CALL YA LATER, _PEEP!"_ Arceus said, giving me a strip of paper. Suddenly white light surrounded me as the temple bagan to fade.

* * *

I found myself transported back into my room. A split-second later, my mom opened the door.

"Oh, there you are, Jay!" My mom said. "You were so quiet for the past half hour I thought you'd disappeared!"

My mom paused for a second. "Jay, what's wrong? You look kind of shocked."

 _Pun from Mom,_ I thought dizzily. "That's coming from a Luxray," I said, laughing lightly. "I'm fine, Mom. Don't worry, I was just...thinking about something."

"Okay. Come down in an hour, alright, Jay?"

"Sure." I said.

After my mom closed the door, I sighed and flopped onto my bed. The strip of paper was still clenched in my paw. I unfolded it and stared at the numbers scribbled onto it.

After hesitation, I took out my cellphone and started a new contact.

A minute later, I opened up the new contact I made and texted him.

 **ARCEUS**

JAY:Hey, Arceus, Um, Hello!

I put my phone on my dresser and silently prayed to Arceus that his response would not be 'I SHALL SMITE YOU FOR SAYING HEY AND HELLO TO ME, BRO!'

* * *

 **(A/N) Like it? Don't like it? Tell me in a review!**

 **Leaf, Blaze, and Zephyr are all in my other story, Pokemon-The Crystal Explorations-The Orbs of Life.**

 **More trouble and randomness for Jay next chapter when Arceus** **responds...DUNdunDUUUUN!**

 **Keep drinking Kool-Aid (That _is_ how to spell it, right?) Unless, of course, you don't feel like it.**

 **-Static Eevee 198**


	2. Arceus saves and then ruins the morning

**(A/N) So I was bored and I had some time so I thought I'd bring another chapter of Arceus Gave me his Phone Number.**

 **Quilava's Storybook: No, that would be a hilarious picture! But it wasn't Dialga who stole the kool-aid, it was Palkia. And I feel bad for Giritina too!**

 **Also, I decided to scratch the idea of Legendaries only talking in CAPS LOCK. From now on, whenever a legendary speaks, it'll be normal** **speech(Don't worry, due to rivalries in the games, they scream at each other a lot)**

 **If you have a character/OC you want to be in this story, let me know in a review or PM. Always accepting new characters!**

 **This is more of a filler, shorter chapter, the next will definitely be longer.**

 **Also, any ideas are welcome! Randomness has no limit!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, Lucky Charms, or Super Smash Bros.**

* * *

 _Beezp!_

 _Beeezp!_

 _Beeeezp!_

 _Beeeeeeeezp!_

I wake myself up with an annoyed growl. _WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL BEEPING SOUND?_

 _Beeeeeeeeeeeeezp!_

I roar, throwing my blue bed sheets off of me, and punch my alarm clock a few times. There's a fizzy, sparking sound as I drive my paw at the machine.

"Um…" I said, checking the alarm clock. It had been smashed at the top, sparking and sputtering.

"Oh, great. Now I've broken my alarm clock." I grumble, sighing. "That's the third time this mon-"

 _Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezp!_

I roar again, leaping out of bed and not bothering to reset the blankets. "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! IT'S SATURDAY!" Then I tilted my head. "Wait, _is_ it Saturday?"

My eyes fall onto the calendar hanging next to the door.

"ARCEUS IT'S NOT SATURDAY! IT'S WEDNESDAY!" I yelped, throwing the covers messily at my bed at once.

My room wasn't the neatest one in the house. The walls were a light blue, and I had a mahogany dresser and a mahogany shelf next to my bed. My bed was a slightly lighter brown, with darker blue covers. A few papers were sprawled around the room. There was one on my desk, one at the foot of my bed, and two lying on the floor.

 _Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezp!_

I punched the alarm clock again. "STOOOOOOOP THA-…Wait, If the alarm clock is broken, then what's that beeping sound…?"

I glanced at my phone, which was lying under a dark indigo lamp on my desk. I picked it up.

"THIRTY-TWO TEXT MESSAGES!?" I yelped, staring at my phone in shock. I quickly went to the texting app and opened the contact that had so many new messages.

"Oh boy…" I muttered when I saw who had sent the messages.

 **ARCEUS**

ARCEUS:Hey JASER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

ARCEUS: Lol I used your non-abreveated nickname! HAHAHAHA!

ARCEUS: So today actually it's like 9:00 PM right now anyways I was watching a show and then the guy was like SHAW HAW HAW and then he punched Lugia in the face and boy was she MAD!

ARCEUS: Wait that wasn't a show I was watching Kyogre and Lugia eating ice-cream. So Lugia wanted Razzle-Dazzle but Kyogre took it and then Lugia got upset and then Kyogre was like SHAW HA HAW and Lugia was like I'LL USE PSYCHIC ON YOU and then Kyogre punched Lugia in the face and her eyes turned all red and she was like I'LL BANISH YOUR SOUL GIVE ME RAZZLE-DAZZLE OR ELSEEEE!

Those were just a few of Arceus's text messages. I scrolled down to see all of them, but then I remembered that it was a school day.

"Arceus Arceus Arceus I'm gonna be late!" I yelped, tossing my phone onto my poorly-made bed. I grab for my indigo backpack, which is lying on the floor, and sling it onto my back. "Errrrrrrrr Aahhhh where's my textbook!?" My head swings around as I look for my science textbook. Finally I spot it under my desk and toss it into my backpack.

"Ummmmmmmmm where's my homework WHERE IS MY HOMEWORK!?" I yelled, flinging my covers off my bed and searching through my bed. No homework, just a sock and a lollipop and a barbie doll. No time to hiss about my sister putting a barbie in my bed, though. I throw the covers back on, but the blue sheets fall off of my bedspread and drape all over the floor.

"DEAR ARCEUS IT'S 7:57! I HAVE TO BE AT SCHOOL IN THREE MINUTEEEEES!" I threw all of my junk off of my desk and look through my cluttered desk. "AAAAAAH IT'S NOT HERE WHERE IS ITTTTTT!? AAAAGGGHHH IF I FAIL THAT ASSIGNMENT I HAVE TO DO SUMMER SCHOOOOOL!"

I spot the green paper I had done the assignment on and lunge for it, but I trip over the blankets sprawled around over the floor, stumble, and thud to the ground with a crash. Pain flares through my left hind leg ankle and I make a shocked sound.

"AAAOOORRRRRRGGGHHHH!" I cry, trying to untangle myself from the web of blankets. My ankle is still hurting, I probably sprained or twisted it when I slipped and fell. I struggle a little, but then my phone slides from on top of my bed and drops on top of my head.

"Ouch!" I growled, watching my phone tumble off of my head. I heard another buzz as I get another text from Arceus. An idea strikes me and I take the phone into my paw, jabbing the keypad as I text the god of Pokemon.

A minute later, I start to glow with a pale gold light, and suddenly I'm tumbling head-over-tail down the stairs. I land on the star on my tail, quite hard, and get a good, shocked look from my mother, who is standing in front of the stove.

"Uh…hi Mom. Ehehehe…" I chuckle nervously.

"Okay son, you don't want me to ask questions, do you?" My mom says right away. Her bright gold Luxray eyes study me, probably checking that I'm alright. I think I'm alright, my ankle doesn't even hurt anymore.

"Um…no Mom."

My mom nods. "Alright. No questions asked. Are you okay?"

"Uh…I'm fine, Mom." I said. "But I'm kind of late to school…"

"No you're not, Jay!" Mom says, smiling as if I've told a joke. "It isn't even 7:30 yet! Sit down and grab yourself some cereal. I bought some more Lucky Charms yesterday." Mom knows I LOVE Lucky Charms. The marshmallows were just the right pellets of sugar I needed before a test.

"YEEEESSSS!" I cheer, punching the air triumphantly.

"Jay, are you gonna get up?" Mom glances at my tail worriedly. "You're crushing your tail."

"What? Oh yeah, my tail hurts from sitting on it, actually…" I pull myself up and shake my tail back and forth loosely. "Uh, hold on, I forgot my homework in my room."

"Go wake up Lucinda while you're going up there," My mom suggested. "She's so rebellious nowadays..."

"'Kay!" I say, climbing up the stairs. My ankle doesn't hurt anymore, so I guess Arceus had healed it as well.

I can't believe Arceus had answered my prayer/text! Not only had he healed me, organized my stuff, and sent me back in time, but I saw that he had also straightened up my room AND fixed my alarm clock as I entered my bedroom.

"Wow," I said, looking around. My homework isn't in my neat-as-a-pin room, so I check my backpack and find it resting safely behind my books. I quickly text Arceus thank-you and go down the hall to a pink door to wake up my sister.

"WAAAAAAKKKKKEEE UUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!" I yell at the door, and I hear a scream and a crash and thrashing. A minute later, the door swings open, revealing a Luxio with tired eyes and hair that might have hosted a rattata last night, since it was so messy.

"Like, _what are you doing_?" Lucinda asks angrily, trying to straighten up her tangled, messy hair with a paw.

"Uhhh…waking you up?"

"LIKE GO AWAY!" She screams, stamping her feet.

Lucinda slams the door at my face.

"Remember to pray to Arceus!" I called through the pink door. "He's very helpful! He helps me!"

"Ugh, WHAT _eveeerrrrr!"_

I quickly opened up Arceus's contact on my phone. After changing his contact name, I texted him.

 **LIFESAVER**

JAY: THANK YOU! Man I owe you one! I owe you two, for your sake!

* * *

I clamber back down the stairs and make myself a huge bowl of Lucky Charms. It's only 7:36 when I finish it, so I go into the living room, grab my Wii U, and turn on Super Smash Bros. Lucinda comes into the kitchen shortly after I start my fight against a Charizard.

It's 7:45 when Lucinda finally finishes her breakfast and comes over to watch me play.

"You're, like, _Greninja?_ " she says, tossing back her hair and rolling her eyes. "Like, hand me the controller."

Lucinda joins and becomes a Jigglypuff, but I easily beat her because she's really bad at Super Smash Bros. The bus won't be here for at least ten minutes, I've had a good breakfast, and I'm playing a video game. All is well.

Suddenly the ceiling gives way, and a huge red and black Pokemon is in our living room.

"You must know why I'm here..." Yveltal says, flapping his great wings.

"NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SOUL! I'M TO YOUNG TO DIEEEEE!" I scream, throwing myself to the ground.

"Uh...I just came for breakfast. Arceus told me you had Lucky Charms. Ooh! And Super Smash Bros as well!? Goody!" Yveltal lands in our ruined living room and claps his blood-red wings together. "Ahhh, I'm STARVED!" Yveltal turns to Lucinda. "Ah, hello! You must be Lucinda!"

Lucinda screams and runs away.

"Hello, Jay." Yveltal says, ignoring Lucinda. "Do you have anybody at school you'd like me to OBLINERATE THEIR SOULS today?"

"Uhablugabumboaga..." I mumbled, unable to speak at the moment.

"Hmm? Oh, I'll come with you! No worries!" Now that the fear is subsiding from me, I realize Yveltal has a slight british accent that goes along with his raspy 'demon' voice.

"OH! I think the bus is here, Jay! Ta-ta, Jay's mother and EXTREMELY RUDE sister! See you when me and Jay get back!"

As if I were in a trance, I start slowly walking out the door to the yellow school bus. Yveltal first tries to squeeze in, causing the driver to go pale with fear, but he doesn't fit and perches himself on top of the school bus instead. I slowly go to the nearest empty seat and sit down, not even noticing who slid in next to me a moment later.

Yveltal leans down, his face looking through the outside of the window at the right of me. "Psst! Jay! JAY! It's me! Look! I'm on a bus! Do you want me to kill someone? What about the tepig sitting next to you? Should I take his soul?"

The tepig next to me quickly found another seat.

"Hmm? Maybe not? Okay. Ooh, I can't wait for school! La la la la la!"

I found enough strength in me to face-paw.

"Hmm? What? Oh, nothing? Ahh, okay! Alrighty-right-right! Woo-hoo-hoo, SCHOOL!"

I took out my phone.

 **LIFESAVER**

JAY: Uh why'd you send YVELTAL to go to school with me?

A few seconds later I got a response.

LIFESAVER: Wel I needed to put him somewhere, he's super annoying, so I gave him to you for the day so I could watch Dora the Explorer! They have a marathon on Nick JR!

I groan and put away my phone.

"PSSSSSSSST! JAY!" I turned to the window to see Yveltal with green grapes on his eyes and an orange in his mouth, making him look like he's a creepy smiley-face. "Look! Tee-hee! I'm happy! Get it? Hee hee hee!"

I sigh and roll up the window. This was going to be a LONG day.

* * *

 **(A/N) The day isn't even over for Jay!**

 **Feel free to suggest any ideas you have for the story, and let me know in a review or PM if you have an OC/Character you want in here!**

 **Reviews wanted!**


	3. Cookie Cats and Cheetos

**(A/N) Well We've got a short chapter of this.**

 **Sorry for the inconvenience of this chapter but I want to get to chapter 4 because we get to revisit Palkia and Giritina. But for now I've got this.**

 **It's not too bad, though. We've got Steven Universe!**

 **JAY: "What? But that's from a completely different category! This is strictly a Pokemon story!"**

 **What if I do a disclaimer on it?**

 **JAY: "I want a Cookie Cat if you're putting Steven Universe in this chapter."**

 **YVELTAL: "I want Cheetos. And a bowl of cement. And ketchup. In that order!"**

 **Hopefully I can get the next chapter of this out by the end of the weekend. I'll probably upload it before the new chapter of Pokemon-Ninjago:Masters of Spinjitzu, since those take forever to write. I'm not canceling that. I just wanted to work on this chapter first.**

 **Question of the Day: Who is your favorite Legendary/Mythical Pokemon?**

 **Okay, sorry for that drawlingly boring Author's Note. On with the chapter!**

* * *

"Hello, Jay! How was class? Did you enjoy class? Was it enjoyable? Did you like it? Did you learn stuff? Oooh, can I learn stuff, too? When can I learn stuff?"

"When you stop being a clueless toddler." I grumble. Yveltal either ignores me or can't hear me, because he keeps grinning and waddling after me.

"Jay?" Yveltal asks, prodding my shoulder. I ignore him and keep trudging to the courtyard. "Jaaaay? JaaAAaay? JAaAaAaAaY? JAAAAAAAAAAY? JAAAAAAAAAAY?"

"WHAT?" I nearly scream, pivoting angrily to face Yveltal.

"Jaaaaaay, why is that mushroom walking?"

Yveltal points to a panpour that's walking to the water fountain.

"That. Is. A. PANPOUR NOT A MUSHROOM!" I yell.

Yveltal looks shocked and a bit pitiful. "Oohhh, poor thing! Aha! I shall turn him into a mushroom! YOU! SILLY BLUE-YELLOWY MONKEY THING! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER ANY LONGER! I, THE WALKING FORM OF DEATH ITSELF, SHALL TURN YOU INTO A _MUUUUUUUUSHROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"_

The panpour watches as Yveltal's wings begin to glow.

"Run for it!" I advise the panpour urgently. He takes my advice, but then-

BAAAAAM!

Where the panpour once stood was a small cactus, the kind some Pokemon put in potted plants for decorations.

"Oooopps, I meant to turn him into a mushroom!" Yveltal said. "I am very sorry, cactus!"

"Change. Him. Back." I hiss.

BAAAAAAAM! The cactus turns back into a panpour.

"Let's _go._ " I say, pushing Yveltal into the courtyard.

"Okay, okay!" Slooooooowly, Yveltal begins to dawdle to the large square of grass. "Do-de-do-de-do-de-dum!"

Sighing, I sit on the grass and take out a lunchbag. Yveltal watches me as I eat a sandwich.

"Jay, I am hungry." He finally says, looking at my lunchbag wistfully.

"Good for you."

"Can I eat some of your food?"

"Absolutely not." I finish my sandwich and start munching on an apple.

"B-b-b-b-but!" Yveltal whines.

"Get your buts away. Go buy some Cheetos or something." I say, tossing Yveltal a quarter.

Yveltal catches the quarter and promptly swallows it. Immedietly he begins to choke.

"No! You just wasted a quarter!" I scold Yveltal as he chokes on the quarter. "Fine, take another, but don't eat it this time!"

Yveltal's face is steadily turning bluer as I toss him the new quarter. Finally he manages to spit the first coin out.

"Okay, now give me back the other one. No, the one that I just gave you, not the one covered in spit."

Yveltal takes the spit-covered quarter. "What do I do with it? It doesn't taste very well, Jay."

"Yeah, I got that." I say, throwing away my apple and taking out a Cookie Cat. "You see that metal box over there?" I ask, pointing to the vending machine. "Put the coin in the slot and press the button with the snack you want. You got it?"

"YES!" Yveltal exclaims, bounding off to the vending machine at once.

I take a bite of my Cookie Cat Ice Cream. Immediately a boy wearing a red shirt with a star on it and with dark curly hair appears at my side, his eyes shining with stars as he sees my ice cream sandwich.

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_

 _He's a frozen treat with an all new taste!_

 _Cause he came to this planet from Outer Space!_

 _A refugee of an interstellar war_

 _But now he's at your local grocery store!_

 _Cookie Cat!_

 _He's a pet for your tummy!_

 _Cookie Cat!_

 _He's super duper yummy!_

 _Cookie Cat!_

 _He left his family behind!_

 _COOKIE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!_

 _Now available at Gurgens off Rt. 109."_

Steven Universe looks at me and smiles. "Aww, hi little friend! You're so cute, like a little blue cat! Mmmm, I see you like Cookie Cats too, hahaha! Hey little guy, can I eat your Cookie Cat?"

"Go away Steven, this Cookie Cat is MINE!" I say to Steven, taking another bite of my Cookie Cat.

"Oh my gosh, you can TAAAAAAAALK? WHAAAAAAT?" Steven exclaims, his eyes widening. "And how do you know my name?"

"Well, I watch your show a lot."

"WHAAAAAAAAT, we have a SHOW?"

"Well...Yeah! Steven Universe on Cartoon Network! Pokemon is on Cartoon Network, too! We're Cartoon Network homies!"

"Oh my gosh, are you...a POKEMON?" Steven cries, throwing his hands into the air. "Wh-whoaaaa! Quick, say Pika Pika!"

"I'm not a Pikachu, I'ma shinx. And we only say our names when the story or episode features a human as the main characters." I explain eagerly to Steven. "But the human stories aren't our thing, ya see. We're the Mystery Dungeon kind of Fanfic."

"Wow! I-I've gotta tell Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst about all this! Say, lil' shinx, what's your name?" Steven is literally bouncing around in excitement now.

"Oh, I'm Jay!" I tell Steven excitedly. "Arceus, I was really hating this day, but oh Arceus, STEVEN UNIVERSE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?" Steven says happily. "Wow, wow, WOW, a real POKEMON!"

"Whoa, IT'S STEVEN! Oh Arceus DEW WE HAVE TO GET HIS AUTOGRAAAAAAPH!" A light blue blur sped from out of nowhere and collided with Steven.

"AAAAAAH!" Steven cries, and then he teleports away, leaving a vaporeon lying where he had once been.

"BLUE!" I yell as the vaporeon gets up, grinning like crazy. "you just scared away STEVEN UNIVERSE! That was like our only chance to meet him!"

"I wanted his autograph! And a hair sample! And his shirt. And maaaaaaaaaaybe I was hoping to steal his gem?"

Blue's little sister, Dew, watches her brother with her bright blue eyes. She has a blueish tint to the white parts of her fur, too. The little eevee snorts a little.

"Humans are creepy." Dew says at once, looking down at her paws. "They stand on two legs. And they wear clothes."

"Yeah, seriously!" Blue says, getting enthusiastic. "What's up with THAT? How can ANYONE stand on TWO LEGS? Plus humans are really weird."

"You wanted to take Steven Universe hostage five seconds ago!"

"Oh, Jay. 'Hotdogs will take over the world someday, but not right now. Maybe Later'." Blue says dismissively.

"Okay, what?" I ask, cocking my head.

"Shakespere once said that." Blue said. "It was IN A BOOK!"

"That was _A Collections of Crazy False Quotes_ so mehhhhhhh, I wouldn't call that a _book._ " Dew said.

"WHATEVER! INTERNET NEVER LIES!" Blue exclaims, pouncing on a flower. "LIKE WHEN _Untrue Facts. Net_ said that dandelions are slowly killing us!"

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Somebody from behind me booms. I groan.

Dew screams like a banshee. "OHMYARCEUSIT'SYVELTALNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI'MGOOOONNNNNAAAADIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She screams, like her life was ending, which was completely possible, since she was in front of the Lord of Death.

Blue, on the other paw, got sparkly-eyed at the sight of Yveltal. "Oh, wow! It's Yveltal. Does he know you, Jay? Wow, that is so COOL!"

Dew was curled up on the grass, screaming and sobbing hysterically. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOHEISGONNAKILLMEOOOOOOOOOHNOOOOOOOOOWHYDIDN'TISTAYHOMETODAYNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIDON'TWANNADIE!"

"Pfft, get up, Dew!" Blue says, nudging his sister gently. "So what if he's gonna kill you. We just saw a LEGENDARY! WOOOOO!"

Dew sobs harder. "I'MSORRYPOKEDOLLSBUTWECAN'THAVEOURTEAPARTYTODAY!"

"Hello, Jay!" Yveltal says, his mouth covered in orange cheese powder. "Are these friends of yours? Did you know that bowling balls occasionally fall from the sky and cause large holes in the ground? Who are these wonderfully delicious-looking little friends of yours, Jay? Can I eat their souls?"

"This is my best friend Blue and his sister, Dew." I say. "NO EATING THIER SOULS!"

"But they look so goooooooood!" Yveltal says, looking hungrily at Dew, who turns white and flops over.

"Nope! Go buy something else!" I toss Yveltal another quarter.

"Oh, yes, Jay, I wanted to ask you something! Do you like surviving?"

"Of course not." I mutter sarcastically.

"Oh, really. Hmm-"

"OF COURSE I DO! IT WAS SARCASM!" I yell at Yveltal.

"Haha, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy-"

"Please make it brief, Dew is literally dying right now." I say. Dew looked like she was about to faint.

"No she is not, I would know. She is just so terrified she can pass out any second if something else scary happens! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways, who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy's cousin who knows a guy's nephew's son-in-law who doesn't like bacon."

I blink. "What was the point in telling us that?"

"HE DOESN'T LIKE BACON!" Yveltal cries, flinging his quarter into the air so it hits him directly in the eye. "Ouch, my eye! HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKE BACON? IT'S BACON!"

"True, true!" Blue says eagerly. "Wow, Jay, this is the best day ever!"

"I dunno, do you wanna babysit him?"

"Naw, I've got Dew with me. But I can hang out with him and you!" Blue says excitedly.

"JAY! I HAVE TWO MORE QUESTIONS!" Yveltal says again, tapping me hard.

"Ow. What?"

"First, are porcupines made out of pork or not?"

"They are not made out of pork!" I say.

"So I got stabbed by one yesterday and ate it raw for _nothing?_ No wonder it tasted horrible and gave me food poisoning! And second, what is that wonderful metal box that fed me Cheetos?"

"That's a vending machine!" Blue interjects happily. "You give it money, and it gives you infinite chips!"

"INFINITE CHEETOS? I have to go steal some money and buy some Cheetos!" Yveltal flies away, shouting about babies ruling the earth.

"Will he come back?" Blue asks, concerned.

I watch the red dot in the sky fly so far away I can't see it. "Hopefully not."

* * *

 **(A/N): I was watching the first episode of Steven Universe before writing so I had to do Cookie Cats.**

 **Sorry if your OC wasn't in this chapter, they'll be in the next one.**

 **Answer: I've gotta say I love Xerneas and Mew. Raquaza is pretty cool too, though.**

 **Thank you so much everybody, this story is the most popular one by far I've written. Please remember to review and check out my other stories.**

 **-Static Eevee 198**


	4. Random parties may cause explosions

**(A/N) Wow, I wasn't planning on this chapter being so LONG! I completely went overboard. It was so much fun to write, and I'm pretty happy with it. So I started this about a month or something ago, after I had updated this story, and then I took a break, and now I'm back again.**

 **So this is kind of the apology of how sloppy the last chapter of OoL was. I really didn't have any patience with it, so I'm sorry it was so bad.**

 **So to sum up the reviews, I think the last chapter was a good one. Jaegothis7, Steven Universe is a great show on Cartoon Network. There were a lot of great Legendaries listed, too!**

 **Thanks so much everybody for reviewing, following, favoriting and reading! This is by far my most popular story and I still can''t believe it!**

 **QOTD: What halloween costume would jay Wear, what would Arceus wear, and what would Yveltal wear?**

 **Speaking of halloween, surprise at the end. :)**

 **Shocker belongs to Dranicus101, Roman belongs to Jaegothis7, and I don't own hersheys, barbies, mentor, Pokemon, etc.**

* * *

ARCEUS: Jay Jay Jay come over right now!

JAY: Ok Wait hold on a sec . . . 

I quickly press 'Edit Contact'.

(Change Contact ARCEUS?)

"Yes." I mutter quietly, typing in a new name. The screen goes blank for a second, and then another message comes up.

(Change Contact ARCEUS to PAININTHENECK?)

I jab the YES button and snicker. In a moment new words appear on the screen.

(Contact ARCEUS successfully changed to Contact PAININTHENECK)

I smile and go back to texting Arceus-or Painintheneck.

JAY: Ok sorry what?

PAININTHENECK: Come over! I rented hotdogs! Here's my address...naw I'll just teleport you.

JAY: Ok lemme just get my mom...

"MOOOOOOOOOM I'm going to Arceus's holy legendary temple!" I shout.

"That's nice, dear. Have fun! Don't forget to put on sunscreen!" My mom calls from upstairs.

"But mom, it's nearly six o'clock at night!" I yell back.

"That's nice, dear."

In a way, it's good that my mom's distracted.

JAY: Ok I'm ready

A second later, I find myself in Arceus's temple. Arceus is standing in front of me, wearing a party hat and holding a balloon.

"WOOOOOOOO!" Arceus shouts, throwing empty soda cans in the air. Well, they weren't empty, because soda spills everywhere and a wet can hits me on the head.

I look around. The place is glowing with red and blue and purple light. There's some disco music playing faintly, but it's too quiet to hear unless if everyone is silent. There's about a million disco balls, and in the center of the temple is a disco ball the size of a tyranitar. I look closer and see that it's made out of about a thousand smaller disco balls, including solid gold disco balls and (This is gonna sound wrong, and trust me, it looks so wrong right now) live Pokemon, mainly Pikachus (There's one really sad-looking red magikarp flopping helplessly around, though) who are smiling and waving and painted gold or silver. The white floors have become a flashy dance floor light-uppy thingy, and streamers are exploding from every single column in rainbow colors…and also real rainbows with pots of gold at the end. There's a random teddiursa wearing a green suit and a green top hat with a long, shaggy orange beard dancing around shouting "SHAMROCK SWAG! SHAMROCK SWAG!" over and over again.

Oh, and there's also a long buffet table with a bunch of bools of food on it, but that's not very important.

In the center of this all is a big shiny silver fountain with red liquid bouncing around instead of water. I freaked out for a second, but then I realized it's just Kool-Aid. Around it there is a solid gold hoverboard zooming around it in circles. There are tons of punch cups on it and even a little pitcher. Around the Kool-Aid fountain are tons of other silver fountains, but they're smaller and filled with other stuff. I see a chocolate fountain, a vanilla fountain, a lemonade fountain, and a chocolate milk fountain.

"What do you think?" Arceus asks, beaming.

"It's . . . pretty cool." I admit. "But why are there Pikachus up there?"

"So I don't have to pay for electricity!" Arceus says happily. "Here, I'll show you. "Light em up, Pika's!"

" _PIIKA_ CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Almost all of the Pikachus shout, and the disco ball glows with yellow light. The poor magikarp is shocked like crazy and flops over, twitching with static electricity.

"That poor magikarp! Why is it up there?"

Arceus shrugs. "I dunno! I don't care! Let's leave the pathetic thing to rot!"

Arceus goes over to the dancing teddiursa leprechaun, who has been screaming about shamrock swag since I got here.

"Can one of you bring down that magikarp?" I call to the Pikachus.

"Magikarp? What Magikarp?" Ask all the Pikachus in sinc, except for one of them.

"The smoking one above . . . you." I say, pointing to a Pikachu who was furiously rubbing gold and silver paint splotches off her arms.

"What about me?" she snarls back.

"Um, you see that random magikarp over there? Behind you?" I keep pointing and the Pikachu turns around. "Is it dead?"

"Unfortunately, no." She says.

"Okay, good. Well, do you mind grabbing it and putting it down? On the floor?"

"Heck no! I'm not touching that thing! Maybe I'll do something for you if you did _me_ a favor, like," The pikachu put a paw on her chin in mock consideration. "Hmm, oh, I don't know, GETTING ME OFF THIS THING AND AWAY FROM THESE CRAZIES!"

"We're not crazies!" All the other Pikachus say happily at the same time.

"Why are you guys even up there?" I ask. "I mean, did you, I dunno, sign up to be a temporary disco ball?"

"Wait, this is what you call _temporary?"_ The Pikachu shouts angrily, her cheeks crackling with electricity.

"Well, I suppose it's temporary, this is only for the party-"

"I'VE BEEN HELD CAPTIVE, STANDING HERE COVERED IN SCRATCHY PAINT WITH NOTHING BUT KOOL-AID TO DRINK FOR ALMOST A WEEK!" She screams, glaring.

"Almost a week!" Say the Pikachus excitedly, again, at the same time.

"Whoa! Okay, can you toss that Magikarp down? I swear I'll help you out if you give it to me."

"Uuugh, but it smells like dead fish! And rotten sushi. This isn't the first time I've smelled rotten sushi!" She says with a shudder. "Do I _have_ to touch it?"

"C'mon, your saving a life here!" I say encouragingly. "I promise to let you free."

The Pikachu hesitates, and then, very regretfully, reaches out and grabs the Magikarp.

"Ewww, this is gross!" She protests, wrinkling her nose and holding the flailing Magikarp away from her.

"Magikarps are people too!" I tell her.

"Magikarps are people too!" The Pikachus repeat like happy zombies.

"Oh Arceus." I groan as the Pikachus stare back like they're hypnotized.

"Oh Arceus!" they respond happily, their eyes blank like zombies.

"Can I let go now?"

"What? Oh, yeah, just be careful-"

I break off with an exasperated sigh as she slams the Magikarp down with enough force to knock the Magikarp out. I hurry over to it. Luckily it's breathing.

"You okay?" I ask it, feeling kind of stupid asking a fish.

"One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve..." The Magikarp mutters, his eyes dull and unfocused.

"Where should I put you?" I wonder, prodding it. It screams a few numbers and goes back to muttering in monotone. Then Arceus is suddenly in front of me and the Magikarp, grinning with a blue and yellow polka dot party hat.

"HI, JAY!" Arceus booms excitedly. "IS THAT A MAGIKARP?"

"Yes, it is, and why are you SCREAMING IN MY EAR like a toddler?" I growl.

"Because I like to yell into my visitors' ears! Oh, look, here comes one now!" He points to a random square on the dance floor, and a blue deer-like Pokemon materializes on it. She's holding a little pink Barbie Bag and has pink bows in her horns.

"Xerneas! You brought your Barbies _again_!?" Arceus booms in annoyance.

"I was not leaving them at home! They like to eat fudge!" She retorts, taking a blond-haired Barbie doll out of her bag. "Plus, Eka wants to say hi!"

"Eka is a terrible name! Barbies are for babies! Help yourself to the fountains!" Arceus says. Then he grabs me and pushes me up. "Oh, and this is my friend Jay."

"He's holding a dead fish!" Xerneas complains, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Ewwwwwwwwww!"

"Does _anyone_ care that Bob can hear you?" I yell, holding the Magikarp up. I've decided to call him Bob. Bob is a pretty good name, right?

"My name is not Bob." The Magikarp suddenly says. "My name is ElSanquadorkeParumakaloèyColomboisGanzanolinas, but my friends call me Jeff."

"I-I'll call you Jeff, too." I decide weakly. Jeff nods and jumps out of my paws. Then he flops to the dance floor and starts flopping around, screaming "KARP KARP KAAARP!"

"Hey, you! You said you'd let me go now! I have another story to get to! There's a really annoying Swampert I have to go yell at! His eye-stabbingly annoying french accent will kill the whole world without me to scorn at him!" A familiar voice yells from the Disco ball.

"Okay, okay! Uh, Arceus, hang on a sec." I say, because more legendaries are appearing in the room. I slide away from the Alpha Pokemon and look up at the Pikachu.

"Well? Get me down so I can go pound these cosplayers into a pulp!" She bares her teeth and electrocutes the ball, causing it to glow. Groudon, Lugia, Xerneas, Ho-Oh, and Arceus cheer and start dancing.

"These are actual legendaries. So, what's your name?" I ask, backing up, tilting my head at the disco ball.

"Shocker. Why are you backing away!? GET BACK HERE!"

"I'm preparing to jump," I tell her, backing away to the dance floor, where Groudon is doing the Cupid Shuffle. I would say he was alright, but his gigantic feet were making him unbelievably clumsy, so he kept bumping into everyone.

"Oh, yeah, right." Shocker says, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. "We have a deal, you know!"

"I know." I'm directly behind Groudon now, completely unnoticed by the land guardian. I crouch down, then charge at his back at full speed. I run up his back as he starts looking around in shock, and then I jump into the air, about to land on the disco ball.

Halfway there, I realize how insane my plan is and how there's a very possible chance my plan is going to end up killing me.

"WAAAAAAAHH!" I start to fall in midair, but suddenly a bright silver paw grabs me. At first I think it's Shocker, but it's actually a Raichu! He hauls me upwards, grinning like crazy. His fur is ruffled and spiking a bit from all the silver paint that's dumped all over his fur, but unlike shocker, there's no evidence he was trying to rub it off. His eyes are a bright, flashy neon green that stands out against the silver and gold on him like a beacon.

"Hi there!" He says happily, unruffled by the fact that I have just leaped off a Groudon's back to get up here. His neon green eyes are shining. "Who are you? Are you a messager from the King of Burgers? Ahh, probably not, you look more like a hobo to me."

"What?" I blink, confused. "Okay, um, I'm Jay, I am _not_ from Burger King, if that's what you mean, and I'm trying to go ell out that Pikachu over there."

The silver-painted Raichu nods, but I notice uncomfortably how he doesn't let go of my hand. "I'm Sparticus."

"...Sparticus?" I ask, hiding a laugh. "Is that really your name?"

"No." he answers simply. "My real name is Bob the Builder. I live under a Bikini Bottom and I like to jump off buildings for fun!"

"Seriously." I start to pull away, but this Raichu doesn't let go and he has a firm grip, so instead I trip and fall on my face like an idiot. "Ow. Hey, can you let go?"

"I'm Roman!" the Raichu cries randomly, throwing green popcorn into the air like confetti. I use this moment to pull away, but then Roman chucks a bucket of actual confetti at me. The worst part is, there's actually bits of multicolored popcorn mixed in with the strips of paper.

"Well then stop it, Roman!" I say, annoyed. "Seriously! Do you want me to let you go?"

"Naw, it's fine! I like it her!" Roman puts on a pair of shades, and I'm pretty sure he winks at me, snapping and pointing at me at the same time with a flashy grin. A pink sun chair appears behind him. At least, I'm pretty sure it wasn't there until right now. Anyways, Roman sits back in his hot pink chair, pulling a fruit smoothie out of who knows where, and takes a big sip out of it. Immedietly he spits purple-red smoothie out, and a second later a random legendary screams. "OW, MY EYES, THERE'S SMOOTHIE IN MY EYES! AAAH!"

"Yuck!" Roman says, wiping his mouth. He studies the smoothie for a second. "Oohhhhh, I forgot to put the umbrella." Yet again, he takes one of those tiny yellow drink umbrellas from out of nowhere and puts it in his smoothie. The silver Raichu then takes another sip and nods. "Much better."

"Oo-kay, you're weird and possibly insane so I will go help Shocker now." I start to turn, but the Roman throws himself on top of me.

"SHOCKER?" He cries, delighted. "Oh, I know her! I KNOW HER!"

"Are you friends?" I ask, gasping under Roman's weight.

Roman gets off of me, smiling and skipping. "Oh, no, she HATES me! Let's go see her!" Then I notice he doesn't have a chain on his leg. For some reason I'm not surprised that he never considered getting off or helping anyone get off the disco ball.

"Fine, you can help me. My name's Jay." The two of us walk over to Shocker, Roman skipping excitedly.

"ROMAN?" She growls. "I thought I trapped you in a cardboard box and shipped you to Greenland! What's the point of heavy-duty duct tape if it doesn't hold!?"

"Not even duct tape can stand in the way of my gigantic muscles!" Roman cries, flexing non-existent muscles as he speaks. "Plus, everyone knows that Greenland has no smoothies or hot pink sun chairs! I went back to Hawai-ai-ai instead!"

"Hawai-eye-eye?" I ask.

"Yeah. The big island where you get tanned with three I's. Hawai-i-i!"

"It's pronounced Ha-wai-ee, Cotton-Brain!" Shocker said."

"What? That green vegetable that looks like a tiny tree?" Roman asks, confused. He looks at Shocker and suddenly gasps. "Shocker-you're naked!"

Shocker looks down instinctively. He head snaps up a moment later and swings around to face Roman. The grumpy she-Pikachu was growling. "Grrrrr...ROMAN, WE DON'T WEAR CLOTHES!"

"Should I rap?" Roman asks, completely oblivious to Shocker's anger and apparently forgetting his outburst.

"What? No!" I bend down to study the chain around Shocker's foot. There's a keyhole near her ankle that looks pretty flimsy...

"Yo! I'm Roman! I am made of R-r-r-r-r-r-roooocks! And I'm wearing fuzzy pink smelly SOCKS! But wait-Oh great-I just forgot! I'm a Pooooo-keee-mooooon! Poooo-keee-moooon don't wear socks! I just put them on...for fuuuuuuuun! Tofu!"

"That didn't rhyme." I pointed out absently. I unsheathed one of my claws and started picking the lock. Shocker twisted around to look.

"Oh...Tofu! Kofu! Aaa-choo! I sneezed! The bill for these socks is probably creased! I must have a cold! Someday I shall be really OLD! Boom! Ka-Boom! I love my socks, fuzzy, fuzzy! When I put them on, my metal detector gets real' buzzy-buzzy! Mah bright pink socks! I got them in a box! On that box that delivered mah socks was a LOGO! And I'ma gonna end this rap with one last YOL-"

 _Click!_ The lock around Shocker's ankle snapped open. At once, she launched herself at Roman, who was still rapping, waving his paw and holding out an imaginary microphone.

"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU SOCKS!" She screamed, letting out a strong electric shock that lit up the disco ball and sent electricity everywhere. Me and Roman were unaffected, but all the partying legendaries above us started screaming.

"WE'RE GONNA _DIIIIIIEEEE!_ " Lugia screamed, flapping her wings hysterically. "ONLY THE SILVER POKEMON WITH GREEN EYES CAN SAVE US!"

"Ohhhhhhh," Roman sighs in disappointment. "I have _purple_ eyes!"

"YOUR EYES ARE GREEN, ROMAN!" Shocker snaps, letting loose some more sparks.

Roman's acid green eyes cross and he sticks out his tounge. "Yea I'ma the like the savior of like this Earth yaaaaaa!"

Shocker hissed, rolling her eyes. "we're gonna die, try to be somewhat serious, will you?"

"DIIIIIEIEEEEEEEE!" Lugia repeated, flapping like crazy.

"But...the disco ball just lit up...nothing happened..." I looked around, confused. And then I saw.

I vaguely remembered one of the legendaries screaming 'Match Party' and throwing matches in the air. One must have landed on the disco ball, and Shocker's electric shock must have lit the match.

I was hit with a flashback at once.

* * *

 _"Billy, never play with matches or fire!" Mom said._

 _"I'm Jay, not Billy!" I whined._

 _"You are?" My mom asked. "Oh. Who's Billy?"_

 _"I don't know!" I said._

 _"Okay, then!" My mom agreed cheerfully. "Anyways, fire can catch on stuff and_ _kill you, so don't play with it."_

 _I look at a much bigger female Shinx with long bangs covering one eye, who is prodding a glowing orange flame. "B-but Lucinda is playing with fire!" I complained._

 _"Oh, Jay, no she isn't! Lucinda is a very smart and good girl!" My mom replied._

 _"No, really, look!" I insisted, pointing to my sister, who was tossing books into the bonfire. "She's burning all of her textbooks, see?"_

 _Suddenly Lucinda picked up a small bottle with a cloud and a skull drawn on it. "Hmm, what's this? It says '_ Liquid Mentos. Do not set on fire.' _Better put it in the fire, then!"_

 _"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" My mom yelled._

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

* * *

Another thing I learned that day: Fire causes explosions when put in Liquid Mentos, and Lucinda was not as bright those days.

The match was on fire, wavering off the edge of the disco ball. I held my breath as it was about to fall, but then Roman reached down to pick it up, grinning. "It's my birthday!" He shouted gleefully.

I sighed, then panicked. "NO, STOP! YOU'LL GET BURNED!"

Roman ignored me, reaching down obliviously like he was picking a flower. "Ooooooooooh, shiny!" He picked it up and dropped it immediately, bawling. "OW! MOOOOOOOOMY! I WANT CAKE!"

The match slowly fell, and then it landed in a bowl of liquid mentor on the buffet table.

Note to self: Mentos are bad. Mentos should be destroyed immediately. Mentos cause explosions on rare occasions. If you have a torch, do not go near Mentos. Oh no.

I don't remember much. Xerneas spotted the disco ball and screamed something like, "OMG THEY WILL DIE LET ME TELEPORT YOU GUYS TO SAFETY!" And then we started glowing, and then as we were teleported away there was a huge explosion and a lot of cheering. I vaguely heard Arceus's voice, in the crowd, yelling excitedly, "It's a miracle! Mento liquid is pouring onto our faces!" And then I was in my front yard with Shocker, Roman, and all the other Pikachus.

"WOOOO HOOOO!" Roman cried, throwing confetti everywhere. His green eyes sparkled. "I did it! I'm the prophecy! WOOP WOOP!"

"I'm going home." Shocker growled. With that she turned around and marched away.

"Wait! What about a Thank-You?" I called after her.

Roman tapped my shoulder, and I turned to see him with a bundle-stick on his shoulder. "Jay, I have to go."

"Sure, the bathroom is to the right of the front door." I say, nodding. "Hey, why've you got one of those traveling pouch-stickies?"

"I've gotta leave." Roman explained, his bright green eyes sad. "I will miss you, but I have to create havoc in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infamy. I hope I see you agin."

"Oh... Well, good luck." I say, patting him awkwardly on the shoulder. "I hope you make it!"

"MAKE IT? I'm gonna die!?" Roman cried.

"No, no, make it to 100 reviews! Your at nearly 90, aren't you?" I explain. "Wait, it's on nuzlocke mode now, so actually yes, I hope you live as well."

"Thanks, Jay!" And then Roman turned to the disco ball. All of the Pikachus were getting off, confused. "Come, loyal soldiers! Let us ride into the sunset! One of you, quick, be my steed!"

A random golden Pikachu hurried up to Roman and squatted on all fours. Roman sat on it, causing the Pikachu to gasp and sag under the Raichu's weight.

"Come, my minions! Let us go!" Roman slapped the Pikachu with his bundle stick gently, and he rode it down the sidewalk like it was a horse. All the Pikachus followed.

"FOR HERSHEYS!" Roman called, raising a fist.

"FOR HERSHEYS!" The Pikachu-Army chorused excitedly, waving and jumping as they followed Roman.

And soon I was standing alone, feeling sad and dizzy and dazed. It was dawn now, and pale pink light hit my blue fur. I blink slowly. Then I turn towards the front door, not stopping to consider how confused everyone would be that there was a giant disco ball in the driveway. After a few steps I abandon my will to move and slump onto the dew-covered grass, snoring after a few moments.

* * *

 **(A/N): Inserting Author's note...loading...Um...**

 **Now, for the little surprise, I will be doing a Bomb.**

 **YVELTAL: "Wooo! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb!"**

 **JAY: "Do you even know what that means?"**

 **YVELTAL: "No! Not a clue! i don't care! Woooooo! Bomb!"**

 **Basically, It means a new chapter every day of one of my stories...For five days...**

 **So I'm planning on doing it from October 25 to October 30. There's a poll on my profile on the story I should choose to do the Static Bomb on. You can only choose one. The poll will go down on the day the Static Bomb begins. The chapters will be shorter than usual due to how much I will be writing, but I'll try to to have them not lack effort.**

 **Please vote! Also, go check out Ice Lion 1, who's pretty new to FanFiction and is an awesome writer!**

 **QOTD answer next chapter.**

 **-Static Eevee 198**


	5. An evening in the life of Arceus

**(A/N): HAPPY THANKSGIVING! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?**

 **Zephyr: "PIE!"**

 **Well, yes, that too, but what else?**

 **Zephyr: "More pie!"**

 **No, no, what else?**

 **Zephyr: "INFINITE PIEEEEEE!"**

 **This isn't even your story! STOP SCREAMING PIE!**

 **Jay: "Yeah, dude, get out! The answer is more chapters!"**

 **No. I actually don't have an answer. So I guess it can be anything...Even pie?**

 **Jay: "WHAT!? Are you kidding me?"**

 **Zephyr: "PIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**

 **Everyone go buy some pie (I can rhyme) (That rhymed too)**

 **I was working on this a few days ago, stopped to work on PSMD, and restarted today, so at the end there's TG stuff and not in the beginning.**

 **I'm getting bored, aren't you?**

* * *

It was around 5:00 in the evening and Arceus was watching Dora the Explorer.

"Oh no!" Dora was saying. "An alligator! He looks hungry! Let's give him all our food!"

"Oh no!" cried Boots in an equally pathetic fake panic voice. "We have no food because we gave it all to that random orange fox who swiped our foods! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, put you hands in the air and prepare to die!" Suddenly the blue monkey was holding a water gun. Why not a real gun? It was a baby show, that's why. A real gun would be inappropriate. Moving on.

Arceus had been drinking chocolate milk and spat out all of the milk to the screen, laughing hysterically for some strange reason. "A water gun! W-w-w-w-waaat-t-ter g-g-g-guunnnnn!" He screamed in laughter. "F-fffffffffffuuuuuunnn-nnnnnny!" It was kind of confusing why he was laughing because it wasn't even funny.

Entei had been going to the kitchen for some cookies and stopped to stare at Arceus. "Uhhh...you okay dude?" He asked in concern. Arceus was laughing so hard there was chocolate milk squirting out of his nose, even though technically he didn't have a nose. But whatever.

"BACKPACK BACKPACK! I'M A WIERDO INANIMATE PURPLE BACKPACK ALALLOLALO! EVERYTHING YOU SHOVE INSIDE ME ILL EAT IT UNTIL I POO!" Now there was a purple backpack on the screen with a really creepy-looking face and it was singing a terrible song as random items swirled around it. The items in specific were a bubble blower, a knife, a lawnmower, a bag of chips, some saltine crackers, a rat, a Nintendo3DS, a flower, a cup of coffee, and a bloody decapitated hand.

Arceus was laughing so hard he was sobbing like crazy. Soon there was a puddle on the floor. Arceus was hugging his stomach and sputtering. "ABTFGHNIULUHBRTFG!"

"You've got issues, man." Entei said to Arceus. Arceus was crying/laughing so hard the whole temple was starting to flood. He laughed the whole episode until when Dora said,

"What was your favorite part?"

Arceus stopped laughing at once, beaming. "My favorite part of life was yesterday when me and Yveltal destroyed a whole city and paid Amazon to ship the surviving villagers to Australia! And the whole time I was wearing headphones and watching Dora the Explorer on my phone and texting Jay! I still have the texts!"

Arceus took out his phone and scrolled to yesterday's texts with Jay.

Arceus: Hi Jay I'm destroying a random place do you wanna come?

Jay: Arceus I'm at school you can't text me or I'll get detention!

Arceus: Did you know that Einstein once said, "A single phone at school, is a single wasted day."

Jay: No I didn't now stop texting me or my teacher will find out!

Arceus:Oh Jay don't be silly! XD XD XD XD

Jay: Uuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Arceus: Ya wanna join us?

Jay: Nope.

Arceus: :( you sad me wahhh

Jay:  #Idontapproveofyourinsanity

Arceus: I

Arceus:AM

Arceus:MAD

Arceus:AT

Jay: Dude stop my teacher's giving me a look!

Arceus:YOU

Jay:Nuuuuuuuuu she's coming my way plz just stop texting me k?

Arceus: There's a hole in my sock though I don't wear socks wait do I?

Jay: Thx a lot Arceus now I have a detention!

Arceus: I leik turtles

Jay: Turtles are boss man but srysly stop

Arceus: I think that yoga is another language made for ancient pika-gyptians-

 ** _ERROR! ERROR! CONTACT 'JAY' HAS CURRENTLY CUT OFF YOUR CONNECTION WITH HIM!_**

"Aaaah, memories!" Arceus said wistfully, looking up with a dreamy look in his eyes. Then they went crazy again. "So Dora, I like the idea of me throwing this lame pottery ceramic vase thing that Manaphy made in the second grade for me but I hate it because it looks like crud at the screen directly at your face so do you like that idea?"

At that moment, Dora and Boots stopped tipping their heads like they were listening, (They were not, the big liars! Those poor baby kids pour their hearts out to these silly animated drawings every day and the characters aren't even listening! How cruel!) and grinned.

"That's awesome!" Dora said in a fake cheerful voice.

"WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOOOOOOOOOOP!" whooped Arceus, grabbing Manaphy's vase and chucking it at the TV.

"My favorite part was when we saw Jeff's-" Dora was interrupted by the ceramic vase smashing onto the screen. However, tired of Arceus constantly smashing the TV, the other legendaries had purchased a one-of-a-kind never-breaking TV.

"Jeff's new puppy!" Dora finished as if Arceus hadn't thrown a vase at the TV.

Arceus frowned for some reason. "Awwwwwww." he moaned. "Kids these days! In _my_ day, there were no kids at all! Just nice, quiet stretches of time in a peaceful dark void…I HATED IT!"

Suddenly there was a deafening ringing sound. The TV show turned off and was replaced by large words that read 'Hey Arceus go to bed so we can use the TV for once, Signed the other legendaries (Who are ticked off because you sit watching DtE for 53 hours a day)'

"Awwww!" Arceus repeated, louder this time. "7:30 already! Now I've gotta go to bed! I wish I could enjoy sleeping, but it's so BOOOORRRRIIINNNNG!"

Then the Alpha Pokemon brightened. "Oh! I know! I'll just go and have a sleepover with Jay! He'll love that!"

With a flash of light Arceus teleported into his closet. He put on his PJ's and his nightcap, which had little duckletts on them.

"Wait. I don't have a teddy bear! I need a teddy bear! Jay will think I'm not swag enough if I don't have one!" he cried in alarm.

So he teleported into Dialga's room. The Time Pokemon was snuggled in his blue bed, cuddling a happy brown teddybear.

Arceus tiptoed to Dialga and swiftly whisked the teddybear away from Dialga. "WOOOOOOOOOO! I GOTS MISTAH SNUGGALFACE YO! WOOOP WOOP!" he screamed.

In an instant Dialga was up, eyes glowing. "GIVE HIM BACK!" the Time Pokemon screamed.

"Nope nope nope! I'm going to a slumber party and _you can't come!_ " Arceus said teasingly.

"WAAAAAAAH!" Dialga cried, starting to bawl. "WWAAAAAAAH! GIRITIIIINNNNNAAAa! ARCEUS TOOK M-M-MISTER SNUGGLEFAAACE-AAACE!" He blubbered.

Giritana appeared in the room, scowling. "I don't care! Leave me alone!"

"B-b-b-b-but GGGGGIIIIRRRIIITTTIIINNNNAAAA!" Dialga screamed, crying and screaming and whining. "H-h-he t-t-t-took Mr. S-Sn-Snugglef-f-face!"

While Dialga whined Arceus snook out of Dialga's bedroom, holding Mr. Snuggleface.

"This will be the best sleepover EVER!" He said excitedly. "But first I must die!" He threw a random anvil at his head and indeed died. Then he came back to life, screaming. "SAAAAAAAANNNNNNTTTTAAAAAAAAA!" he yelled.

Azelf burst into the room and started screaming at the top of her lungs. "WAAAAAAAFFFFFFFLLLEEESSS! CAAAAAAkkKKKKKKEEEE! FRRO-YOOOO!"

"Ew!" Arceus said, starting to dance the polka for unknown reasons. "I want to throw up but I'm too polite so instead I'll just punish you for saying those disgusting curse words!"

"What? But I didn't do anything!" Azelf cried. "I'm innocent! I didn't curse! This chapter is 99.9999999999999999 and 1 percent appropriate!"

"WELL TOO BAD!" Arceus snapped. He grabbed Azelf by the tail and thrust her at the wall. She crashed through the pure marble easily, screaming.

"I LIEK MUSHROOMS! ALSO HAPPY THANKSGIVING!" Arceus screeched randomly, throwing pumpkin pie everywhere. "AAAHHH YEAH BUOOY, IMA INSANE PINYATA! WOOP!"

The whole time this happened Yveltal and Jay were hiding in the corner of the room, recording it on Jay's phone.

"I need a life." Jay grumbled. "Why do I think this is so funny?"

"Because it is!" Yveltal said. "Turkeys whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!"

"Turkeys are going to enslave Earth!" Arceus was screaming. He threw some more pie everywhere, except this time it was apple pie. "I LIEK PIE! APPLE! PUMPKIN! PSMD! AAOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Has it gone too far this time?" Jay asked.

"No, no." Yveltal said cheerfully, eating a piece of pumpkin pie.

"But it's starting to get a bit…er…dangerous." Jay said, watching as Arceus started smashing everything with the teddy bear. White rubble flew at the two eavesdroppers and they ducked, still filming the odd scene.

"Nah," Yveltal said with an offhand shrug. "It won't get dangerous until he starts shooting lasers out of his mouth."

Just then, Arceus went cross-eyed and his mouth became a gaping red hole. "FIRE IN THE LAAZEER!" He screeched in a deep voice, and then a bright blue laser shot out of his mouth. The whole temple exploded and Jay started falling in midair to certain death.

"Hey, once we finish filming this we should send it to Static, don'tchya think?" Yveltal said, beating his wings to stay safely in the air. "It'd be cool to have a chapter like this!"

"I SERIOUSLY NEED A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!" Jay screamed as he fell, ignoring Yveltal. At the last second a random flying turkey swooped up and grabbed him.

"OMAALT!" screamed Jay in horror.

Yveltal glided up to Jay and the turkey. "What does that stand for?" the red pokemon asked curiously, munching on a banana peel dipped in broccoli-flavored frosting.

"OH MY ARCEUS A LIVING TUREY!" explained the shinx, starting to get exasperated when he realized he wasn't going to die. "Life is insane..."

"Ahhh." Yveltal nodded his head slowly. "I get it. HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!"

"It's Thanksgiving!" Jay snapped. "Jeez! Didn't you go to Kindergarten?"

"No, actually!" Yveltal answered cheerfully. "MERRY VALENTINE'S DAY!"

"IT'S THANKSGIVING!"

* * *

 **(A/N): Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you enjoyed that _very_ random chapter!**

 **QOTD: What's your favorite kind of pie? I like apple, pumpkin, and lemon.**

 **-Static Eevee 198**


	6. Meatball just wants a donut

**(A/N): I've gotten so bored of waiting for everything to happen in OoL I keep putting spoilers for Shadows...If you don't feel like getting spoilers just skip the part in The Crystal Explorations.**

 **Okay, we have a new character today! This is MY OC, and he is very insane.**

 **Also my most overrated character will be joining Jay's team because he's in another randomness story, but Zephyr will always be part of Team Crystal.**

 **Blaze: "Until he dies!"**

 **Nah, I'm not going to make him die, he's too awesome.**

 **Leaf: "So you make a terrible tragedy happen to Blaze and then horrible stuff happen to me but Zephyr gets nothing? THAT IS UNFAIR!"**

 **But he had a really bad life before this.**

 **Blaze: "Eh, true."**

 **I've been trying a new randomness style lately. Should I keep using the one in this chapter or go back to writing that I used back in second and third chapters?**

 **QOTD: So far, who is your favorite character? I recommend finishing this chapter before deciding, though.**

* * *

It was a dark, quiet night. There was only one streetlamp lit, well there were others but they didn't glow as brightly.

Two figures walked up to the streetlamp and shook hands, looking around warily.

"Got the goods?" One asked in a deep, rumbly voice of secrecy.

"No," said the other with a nod, as if he were saying yes instead of no.

"WHAT?" the first trench coat-bearing Pokemon roared angrily. "WHY'D YOU COME, THEN?"

The other figure shrugged and made a farting noise. "I wanted a bagel."

"YOU-" the first Pokemon screamed, but he was cut off as a huge stormcloud came and electrocuted him.

"YO GUYS IMA MEATBALL!" A Jolteon was sitting on the cloud, nodding majestically. "I really want a donut!"

"A meatball? Bro you're a jolteon!" the Pokemon without the goods pointed out.

"No, my _NAME_ is meatball!" Meatball screamed. He had a loud, rowdy-like voice and dark blue eyes that were very bright and wild.

"Pfffff! Hey I'm celery!" said the figure randomly. "Bagels are delishioaus."

"REVEAL YOUR SECRET IDENTITY!" Meatball yelled crazily.

"'Kay!" the other said. He took off his trench coat to reveal him wearing- _gasp_ -another trench coat!

"Dude seriously though."

"But then I'd be naked!"

"I want a donut, you know, but I CAN'T HAVE THAT, _CAN I?_ Wait can I?"

"Fine, fine!" fifty trench coats flew into the air and half of them slammed into Meatball's face. Finally a squirtle stood, glaring about proudly and nodding majestically like he was some hero guy. **(How do I explain what's in my mind right now..?)**

"OMGIT'SZEPHYR!" Meatball screamed in shock. "DUDE UR LIKE FAMUS!"

"Spellcheck." Zephyr corrected him smartly, looking proud. He stuck out his tongue, ruining his smart moment and making him look more derpy.

"OMGHOW'DYOUKNOW?"

"Dude is spelled D-O-R-K, obviously!" Zephyr said, nodding smartly again. "See? Very intelligent I is!"

Meatball blinked. "Ohhhkaaayyy…WELL CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"

"No! I'm gonna get a bagel! I love bagels! Leaf and Blaze said I had to stop buying bagels because it cost them too much Poke every time I bought 3000 bagels so I came here to buy more bagels! Now I can have aaaaaallll the bagels I ever want! I'm going to buy 5000!" Zephyr stormed away, laughing evilly and thinking he was so clever to think up a plan like that. Meatball followed him, floating on his cloud. He was confused, but at the same time he was hoping Zephyr would buy him a donut. All he wanted right now was a donut.

* * *

"We're hooooooooooome!" Zephyr said, holding three huge paper bags filled over the brim with bagels. He shoved thirty in his mouth and swallowed them super-fast.

"Wait, you left?" Jay asked. He was kind of stressed out at the moment, because Arceus had invited over a bunch of legendaries and they were all watching TV and throwing drinks in the air.

"YO JAAASER WHERE'S MAH SANDWICH?" Groudon hollered, chocolate milk pouring out of his mouth since he had spoken without swallowing his mouthful. Jay scowled because Groudon was being the worst, drinking several drinks and eating several foods at the same time and not bothering to swallow before talking or even wipe the spills and messes off of his chest.

"JAY! And I'm not making you a sandwich!" Jay snapped back. "I'm making _myself_ a sandwich!"

"HIKE!" Groudon screamed, throwing lemonade into the air and letting OJ dribble down his front. "Splash-splash!"

"I wanted a pepsi!" Ho-Oh interjected.

"I wanted a coke!" said Kyogre.

"I want a donut!" screamed Meatball good-naturedly, not sounding angry but slightly annoyed yet cheerful **(Wha?)**

"PEPSI!"

"COKE!"

"NO! PEPSI!" Ho-Oh screamed, Pepsi frothing at his beak.

"I'LL PEPSI UR FACE!" Kyogre roared, slapping the rainbow-bird's face. Ho-Oh shrieked and exploded into a pile of ashes.

"WOOP H'S DED!" Kyogre said happily, doing a victory dance.

"What's up with spelling today?" Zephyr asked. "Meatball spelled dude D-U-D-E and Kyogre spelled Woop W-O-O-P when it should have been L-M-A-O!"

"Who's meatball?" Jay asked.

"Ahh, a friend." answered the squirtle as Meatball floated into the room, nibbling on a bagel with disgust.

"I wanted a donut, man!" Meatball complained, throwing his bagel at Zephyr, who devoured it in one big gulp.

"Well too bad!" Zephyr snapped, stuffing half a dozen bagels into his mouth. "Bagels are waaaaay better!"

"Ew, no!" Meatball said. "They're, like, flavorless! No frosting or glaze!"

"But you can have everything bagel dogs with bagels!" Zephyr argued, eating fifteen more bagels.

"OK!" Meatball said, brightening. "Let's make one!"

"OK!" Zephyr agreed, wolfing down more than thirty bagels.

"You're eating a lot of bagels," Jay said, tilting his head at Zephyr as the squirtle ate a few more bagels.

"NO WAY!" Zephyr yelled through a mouthful. He swallowed painfully and groped through the first bag, which was almost empty.

"You're going to get sick." Jay continued.

"I AMPH NOFF!" Zephyr said, stuffing another two dozen or so bagels into his mouth.

Suddenly there was a bloodcurdling shriek, and the three of them turned to see Kyogre and Groudon in an arm-wrestling competition. Kyogre was screaming in pain, his fin twisted at an odd angle as Groudon pushed against it. The land Pokemon roared in triumph, not releasing his grip as Kyogre sobbed for mercy.

"Whoa! Let go, man!" Jay thrust his way between the two of them and shot some electricity at Groudon. Groudon blinked.

"Yeah, dude, I'm immune and stuff." Groudon said, spitting cake at Jay.

"It's true," Zephyr called out, emptying the first bag of bagels into his mouth and eating them.

Meatball started prancing around. "Ai bee see dee eee eff jee! Aych I jay kay el em en oh pee! Cue are ess, tee you vee, double-you ecks, why and zee, now I know I'm very smart-"

"I'm smarter than you!" Zephyr yelled, tossing away his first bag of bagels and reaching for the next.

"THEN LET ME HAVE A DONUT!"

"NO! BAGELS ARE SWAG!" Zephyr ate more bagels.

Let's go back to Jay's situation as these two fight over bagels and donuts.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Arceus cheered from the couch.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Ho-Oh rose from his pile of ashes and cheered as well.

Groudon roared, food spilling from his mouth, and lunged at Jay. Jay scampered under his legs and backed away against where Meatball and Zephyr were siting.

"Help me out here!" he pleaded to the two of them.

Meatball shrugged. "How about a donut?"

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR DONUTS!"

"But dude, I, like, really want a donut, man!" Meatball said, apparently oblivious to the sticky Groudon lumbering at Jay as the other legendaries (besides Kyogre, of course, who was adjusting a cast onto his fin(He owned a first-aid kit.) and trying to grab the remote from Arceus with his good fin) cheered on.

"No! Just-I'm going to die here!" Jay ran away as Groudon shot dirt at him.

"If I use tackle on him, will you give me a donut?"

"I-"

"DONUTS JUST SAY YES DEAR DONUTING DONUTS!" Meatball yelled, dark blue eyes blazing.

This whole time Zephyr was stuffing bagels into his mouth at alarming rates. Despite the speed he was eating them, he looked like he was starting to get pretty full.

Away from Zephyr.

Groudon was a pretty big Pokemon in general, and he was extremely heavy. Which meant he moved _reeeaaaallly_ slowly. So for the first few minutes, he felt okay-ish. This guy never got any exercise, by the way. But after 2.3 minutes, he got _waaay_ slower. Soon he was schlepping across the room in staggery circles, moaning, as Jay simply moved a few paces every few minutes.

"This is boring." Arceus said to Ho-Oh.

"But he's distracted, so when the pizza comes he won't eat it all!" Ho-oh said.

The next twenty minutes went by pretty much the same:

Groudon trudging sleepily at Jay.

Jay getting bored and tired and moving every three minutes or so.

Arceus and Ho-Oh watching TV, the fight completely forgotten to them.

Meatball screaming, "I WANT A DONUT!"

And Zephyr devouring over a thousand bagels at a time.

* * *

 **The Crystal Explorations...(Contains spoilers for Orbs of Life)**

"Leaf! Have you seen Zephyr today?" Blaze cried.

Leaf blinked. "No. I thought he was exploring with you!"

"I thought he was with you!"

Leaf shot up. "Quick! Tell me about a book! I need to fall asleep!"

Blaze tipped his head. "Why?"

"Uh, so I can ask Absol if she's seen him!"

"But…Leaf, that's impossible!"

"No, it's not!" Leaf protested. "Put me to sleep! Tell me about some lame documentary about the history of how paint was made or something!"

"But it's daytime!" Blaze explained. "Absol won't be sleeping."

"Maybe she will!" Leaf cried, getting very annoyed. "Just-tell me about the village's history!"

"Okay…I think it was founded by some guy named-"

"Zzzzzzzz…." Leaf was already asleep. Blaze sighed.

(Leaf's dream)

"YES! I'M DREAMING!" Leaf said, noticing the rainbow-dimension at once. "I wonder why Absol's sleeping."

The bulbasaur shrugged. "Maybe she's tired from traveling the planet and stuff. I keep telling her hunting for 'clues' is useless since we already saved the world and stuff."

"I can hear you!"

Leaf spun around to see Absol glaring at her. "Oh, there you are! Hey, have you seen Zephyr by any chance?"

"No."

"Oh, okay, I'll be waking up now." Leaf said, trying to hide her disappointment. She knew exactly why Zephyr had left. It was because of that argument about bagels they'd had last night. Zephyr had this weird addiction to bagels, and he kept spending all his Poke on it and then using money from their emergency store to pay for the bagels. "Why were you sleeping?"

"Because of time difference! I'm far away!" Absol said. "I'm actually surprised you found connection."

"Dreams are like iPhones," Leaf said, quoting a certain missing squirtle with a shrug. "You need good wi-fi for them to be any good."

Absol narrowed her eyes. "Get out already, will you? I'm busy!"

"I thought you were sleeping!"

"I am! I want to have actual sleep without you bugging me!"

Leaf felt herself being thrown out of the DSC and waking up.

"No." she said. "You were right."

"Where could he be?" Blaze asked. "The last time we lost him the police were involved!"

"Bagels." Leaf said. "He'll be eating bagels at the most random insane place we can think of."

The two of them thought for less than a second and looked at each other, saying in unison: "Jay's house."

* * *

 **Jay's house...**

"Dude, I'm bored!" Meatball complained. "Can I have a donut already?"

Zephyr was unresponsive, since he was unconscious. There were three and a half bagels untouched, two on the floor, the half on Zephyr's chest, and the third in his hand before he had fainted.

Jay had gotten bored and had already knocked Groudon out with a single Bite attack. Now he was frantically trying to clean the living room and trying to convince Arceus and Ho-Oh and Kyogre to leave.

"I'll give you each a donut if you leave and never return." he said as he scrubbed lemonade off the rug.

"Hey, _I_ want a donut!" Meatball yelled.

"I don't have any donuts for the ten thousandth time!"

"Bummer, I was going to accept!" Ho-Oh said. "Oh well."

"No! Wait! I do have donuts!" Jay tossed away his rag and grabbed one of Zephyr's few uneaten donuts. Quickly he took some Nutella out of the fridge and smeared it over the top of the bagel. "There! A donut!"

"Kay I'm leaving!" Ho-Oh left the room, munching on the 'donut' happily.

"Kyogre, do you want a donut?"

"No thanks I'm lactose intolerant." Kyogre said.

"But you're drinking milk as we speak! Liar!" Meatball said, pointing a paw at Kyogre accusingly.

Kyogre let out a wail. "MY SECRET HAS BEEN UNVEILED! I MUST HIDE IN THE SHADOWS FOREVERRRRRRRR!" With that he tossed away his glass of milk and jumped out the window.

Jay finished scrubbing stains off the floor and went to work on the walls and windows. "Hey Meatball, do you want a donut?"

"OMGYES!" Meatball cried. "IVBEENTELLINGYOUTHISWHOLETIMEFINALLY!"

"Help me clean up the place and I'll give you a donut, okay?"

"OMGBESTDEALEVER!" screamed Meatball. He was still floating on his cloud, by the way, so he began to fly around, spraying a light, drizzly rain all over the walls and tables. Arceus watched curiously as more NickJR shows blared from the TV.

"Well, you've wet the place, which is good." Jay said. "But Groudon got stuff _everywhere!_ I need to maybe soap it or use baby wipes or...hand sanitizer?"

"No problem! Hey, make sure that donut has extra frosting!" Meatball jumped off his storm cloud for once and ran into the bathroom. A minute later he came out with a gigantic soap dispenser.

"Okay..." Meatball said, jumping back onto his cloud. He popped the lid off the soap bottle and poured all the soapy liquid into his mouth.

"DUDE! YOU JUST DRANK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF SOAP!" Jay cried.

Meatball burped out a few pink bubbles. "And it tasted very clean." The jolteon shut his eyes, and pink soap began to somehow rain from his magical cloud. (It's not in that way, I promise, he has magical powers...ingnore this...)

Twenty minutes later the room was sparkling. Jay grabbed Groudon, along with help from Meatball the all-powerful soap glugger, who got off his grayish cloud to help again, and they both tossed him outside and covered him with leaves and dirt.

"Wow! We can finally start!" Arceus said.

Jay blinked. "Uh...start what?"

"Our sleepover, silly! Didn't you get my text?"

Jay's eyes widened, and he took out his phone to check.

Arceus: YO JAY WE'RA goona have a sleepover so I'm coming over with some buddies and then we can spend the WHOOOOOOOOOOLLLLEEEE night together!

Jay's right eye twitched, and he fainted on the spot, falling the the ground.

"I brought a sleeping bag!" Arceus held up a king-sized sleeping bag, grinning, unconcerned that Jay had fainted.

Suddenly Zephyr started twitching and he opened his eyes. "Ugh, where am I? Am I at McDonald's?"

"No." Meatball said. "I used to think that scented candles were the root of all evil(Don't judge me, ok?), but now I see I was wrong. It is bagels that are evil, for they have brought us to the place of slumber parties with our god."

Zephyr began to cry. Meatball patted his back. "Don't cry, man, I burp bubbles now!"

"I-it's not that!" Zephyr sobbed. "I-I forgot to bring my pajamas..."

"So did I." Meatball admitted. "OK, let's go watch a movie!"

Zephyr brightened. "Sure!"

Arceus wrung his hand-feets-things together evilly. "This will be the best sleep over ever!"

The three of them (While Jay was unconscious) watched a movie together, but right before the boring part (Credits) rolled Meatball gasped.

"HEY! I NEVER GOT MY DONUT!"

* * *

 **(A/N): Meatball is awesome.**

 **Meatball is a Jolteon with dark blue eyes and a very fluffy mane of spikey white fur around his neck. He has a very loud voice and is on a constant sugar rush that never fades away. Meatball is usually floating on his magical cloud, which he stole from Thundurus.**

* * *

 **EPILOGUE...**

On a dark, barely lit street, in an ally with only one streetlight, a figure in a trench coat lay still, smoking slightly. Suddenly his head shot up, and he ripped away his trench coat to reveal himself.

"I...AM...BUTTERFRY THE GREAT! NOBODY LETS _ME_ DOWN!" Butterfry roared. "Now...to plan my revenge..."

Suddenly a pidgeotto swooped down from the sky and grabbed Butterfry in his talons.

"No! Not again! Why do birds keep eating me!?" Butterfry cried as Pidgeotto carried him away. "NUUUUUUUUUUU!"


	7. Moltres is a crybaby

**(A/N): Going back to my style of the old chapters.**

 **Warning-this chapter contains several Pokemon swimming in the tears of a crybaby legendary Pokemon. And an immortal Jolteon's leg falling off. If you are sensitive to such, I suggest you put your hands over your ears and start screaming, "I THINK I WOULD LIKE A LARGE CHEESE PIZZA!" Regardless of where you are. Make sure to scream as loud as you can, and scream extra loud if you are around people or in a public place. I promise nobody will stare at you or think you are going crazy.**

 **Chances are you won't do that. Worth a try.**

 **Dranicus101-Aww, I'm honored! I love creating madess! No, he will not do that, that's gross. His cloud is very magic, too. It makes him immortal!**

 **Jaegothis-Hey, Star Wars reference in this chapter! YAY! I didn't even remember that until now.**

 **I saw the new Star Wars movie a few days ago. It was okay. I'm not a very big Star Wars fan, anyways, so OK is a good compliment from me.**

 **QOTD-Which of my stories is your favorite? I'm curious, so answer honestly.**

* * *

I slump on the ground, trying to cover my ears. "WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP?" I scream from under the rug. Oh yeah, I'm hiding under a rug because that's the only place to hide.

"NO!" Zephyr the squirtle yells. He, Meatball the jolteon, and Arceus were currently having a sing-off, which was bad, because all three of them are terrible at singing.

"HELLLLLLLOOOO FROM DA OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIIIDEEEE!" Arceus screams at the top of his lungs. I hate that song so much, and I grind my teeth in anger.

"PATTY CAKE PATTY CAKE BAKER'S MAN!" Zephyr screeches in a very off-key voice. "BAKE ME A CAKE MADE OUT OF SANS! PUT HIM IN AN OVEN AND THROW BAGELS AT HIM, WITH AN 'F' FOR ME AND A 'Z' FOR _GEEEEET DUNKED ONNNNNN!"_

"That doesn't make sense!" I yell angrily.

"SNOW GLEAMS WHITE ON THE MOUNTAIN TONIGHT!" Meatball screams, his voice so loud and shrill everyone cringes. I cover my ears, but Shinx ears are very big and pick up sound easily.

"THE SNOW IS FALLING BUT IM COLD AND WANT A PIIIIEEEEEEEEE! I HOPE ALL THE BUNNY RABBITS SMELL MY SOCKS AND DIIIIEEEEEEE! THE WIND IS HOWLING SPAGHETTTIIIIIIIIII, I HAVE TO PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Meatball, don't!" I warn the jolteon, but he still bursts into singing.

"LET IT BLOW (up), LET IT BLOOOWWWW! (up) CAN'T USE POPSICLE STICKS ANYMOOOOORE! Le-"

Zephyr suddenly jumps on me. "Ow!" Not noticing my scream, the squirtle launches himself at Meatball.

"I CAME IN LIKE A ZEEEEEEPHYR!" he cries loudly, and Meatball crashes into the couch.

"I'ma gonna be a tree!" Meatball decides, getting up and gnawing on a flute. Don't ask why. Just don't. "Woooooooo! Trees are swag!"

"Okay, let's go to the Moon!" Arceus decides. He runs outside and gets electrocuted, even though it isn't stormy or particularly cloudy tonight. He waddles in, blackened and burned. "Um. Let's just go play laser tag!"

"YA!" Meatball and Zephyr say instantly.

"Um, we don't live near a laser tag place." I tell Arceus, emerging from under the rug.

"JAY IS AN HUMAN!" Zephyr screams excitedly, his eyes wide.

"I am not!" I snap back. "I'M A POKEMON!"

"Ohhhh say can you see, by the dawnzer lee light, whazo prodlewee hall, adu twilights lasgeamin-" I don't know why Meatball started singing that. His magic cloud started flashing red, blue, green, and purple.

"OK LET'S PLAY STAR WARS LASER TAG!" Arceus declares at once. He summons a bunch of Star Wars costumes and fake lightsabers. They looked really realistic, with the glowing parts radiating heat and the handles having buttons and stuff.

"I CALL DARTH VADER!" Meatball says at once, raising a yellow paw. Arceus gives him a Darth Vader mask and a lightsaber handle. "Cool! I am...of da independence day!"

"OMG!" Zephyr screams. "I want to be Jabba the Hut!" Arceus spills toxic sludge all over Zephyr and the squirrel mutates into a weird blob that looks exactly like Jabba the Hut, only blue.

"Um, dude, I said _Jabba the Hut,_ not a gross blob!" Zephyr the Hut complains.

"You look exactly like Jabba the Hut!" I snap.

"Jabba the Hut isn't a blob, though!"

"Yeah, he is!"

"NO, he's not!"

"Is!"

"Is not!"

"HE IS!"

"Ask your phone!"

"I will!" I take out my phone and use Siri. "Hey, Siri, show me Jabba the Hut!"

{Nu-uh!} Siri snaps with sass. {I ain't gotta listen to you, honey!}

"WHAT?" I yell. "Hey, why are you answering back!?"

{Hate to break it to ya, baby, but you programmed me to have, like, 'sass', remember?}

"I did not!"

{Oh, Arceus-}

"Yeah?" Arceus asks eagerly.

{Wasn't talkin' to ya!} Siri snaps rudely. {Listen, do you need me to play the record of you giving me those orders?}

"Yeah, sure," I say sarcastically. But a recording starts playing, and it's _Zephyr's_ voice.

{"Siri! I'm uh programming you to have sass, okay!"}

Everyone looks at Zephyr the Hut. "What?" he says offensively. "I was joking around!"

"Siri, change back to normal Siri!" I yell at my phone.

{Ok. Searching web for Jabba the Hut...} Siri sounded normal again. {Jabba the Hut found.}

A picture popped up on the screen. "Wait a minute, that's a restaurant!"

"Yeah!" Zephyr says. "I want to be the _restaurant_ Jabba the Hut!"

"OK!" Arceus says. He changes Zephyr the Hut into Zephyr the Restaurant Jabba the Hut.

"I hate being a restaurant! Just make me a Wookie or something!" Zephyr the Restaurant Jabba the Hut complains five seconds later. So Arceus hands him a wookie costume and a laser gun.

"What about you, Jay?" Arceus asks. He morphs into a mini-yoda, changing his size, shape, and color. Only his loud voice remains.

"I'll be a Shinx." I say.

"Kaykay!" Arceus puts a Shinx Cosplay o me, but I rip it off. Everyone gasps. "JAY! YOU'RE _NAKED!_ "

"I'M ALWAYS NAKED! WE DON'T WEAR CLOTHES!"

"Oh. 'Kay!" Arceus takes out a blue lightsaber. "I WILL KILL DA GUYS!"

"I am force!" Meatball jumps off his cloud, holding a lightsaber in his teeth, and the red blowy stick part comes out. The jolteon swings it around wildly, but I guess he can't see very well in the mask, because he ends up hitting himself with it.

The lightsaber hit his shoulder and his entire left leg fell off.

I'm not even going to describe what I heard and saw, but it scarred everyone in the room for LIFE.

Except Arceus. He just strolled over to Meatball, who was screaming in pain, and said. "So...I guess I should call Yveltal."

Zephyr started crying while screaming. "I DON WANA DIE!"

I also started crying along with my screaming. "I DON WANA GET ANNOYED BY THAT TODDLER!"

"Relax, I'm calling him 'cause he has a first aid kit." Arceus said, which didn't calm _me_ down. He was a pain in the neck either way.

Two minutes later, Yveltal crashed through the ceiling. "HELLO! Ah, Jay! So good to see you! Do you have any cheetos?"

"No. Now go fix Meatball!" I said.

"Okay. I'm going to call my good friend Moltres because he cries a lot. He's a crybaby."

"How will that help?"

"Dunno."

A ball of flame appears on the couch, but it immediately evaporates with a hiss of steam. Water spills off the couch. A crying Moltres is slumped on the couch, which is already damp with tears.

"Life is very sad..." Moltres whines, wiping away a waterfall of tears just to let another faucet of them pour onto the ground. He sobs hysterically for five solid minutes before continuing. "Today I had a lollypop...but I ate it...so sad..." Moltres started crying more. He sniffled loudly and hiccuped, just to cry louder and harder. The floor was getting very wet now. "Owww, that HIC-Hiccup-HIC-h-hic-hurts...whaaaaaaa, I can't stop-hic-crying and -hicupping...WAAA!" I lift my paws as waves start splashing against my legs. A solid inch of water is on the ground.

"On second thought, why don't we just call Dialga so he can reverse time?" Arceus says, taking a small sponge to attempt dabbing up the quickly rising flood of tears from the ground. It has absolutely no affect.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'M NOT WANTED! I'M SO USELESS! WAAAAAAA!" The water rises another inch.I give up trying to stay away from the water, which is rising very fast.

"Okay!" Yveltal says with that annoying childish cluelessness. He attempts to drink some tear-water but spits it out immediately. "Yucky! Jay, this water is nasty!"

Moltres cries harder. "MY TEARS ARE-hic-YUCKY! WAAAA!"

Dialga starts running around in the house, which is now uncomfortably crowded with legendaries and flooded with tears. The god of time is hugging a teddybear tightly, crying. _Oh, great, MORE crying!_

"MR. SNUGGLEFACE IS MINE!" He shouts over his shoulder, to Palkia, who appeared out of nowhere. The god of space was grinning maliciously, holding a pair of safety scissors.

"Dialga, please reverse time so Meatball's leg never got sliced off." Arceus says kindly.

"My leg got sliced off?" I turn to see Meatball sitting on his cloud, looking absolutely fine. "It can't get sliced off! I'm immortal!"

"You are?" Everyone asks in union.

"WAAAA! I WISH I WAS IMMORTAL!" Moltres sobs. The water is now so high it will reach my chest in a few minutes.

"You are immortal, dummy!" Palkia says, slapping Moltres softly. "Quit crying.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Moltres cries so hard and so long everyone starts swimming. Meatball slips and falls off his cloud, so he starts swimming, too.

"I can't get hurt, unless if I want to. It's because my cloud is awesome!" Meatball explains.

Suddenly the door opens, and a small bulbasaur is standing there looking shocked. "...Why is the house flooded?" she asks, genuinely confused.

"Hi Leaf!" Zephyr says cheerfully, waving. "Are you here for the pool party? We are swimming in Moltres's tears!"

"That's gross." Leaf says. "Come here so we can leave."

"No!" Zephyr says. "I like it here!"

"Okay, fine." Leaf says, walking away. "Let's go, Blaze. Sorry, Jay."

"WAIT! I'M COMING!" Zephyr doggie-paddles after them, closing the door behind him. "Bye, Jay! Thanks for the party!"

Everyone runs out the door, including Moltres, who is sobbing about the party being over. The flood of tears disappears magically. Only Arceus and Meatball remain.

"Okay, time for bed!" Arceus becomes regular again, and Meatball jumps onto his cloud, his Darth Vader cosplay gone. Everyone gets into sleeping bags, which were definitely not there before, and snuggles up.

"Eww, the floor is still kind of moist!" Meatball whines, shifting around in his sleeping bag. The sleeping bag is set up on his cloud, which he never gets off of unless it's an emergency.

"You're not even on the floor!" I say. "And the floor isn't even moist anymore."

"Oh."

"I'm a cheerleader." Arceus says. He's wearing pink pajamas and has a fluffy purple butterfly pillow.

"I'm going to sleep." I say, closing my eyes and pretending to be asleep.

"JAY! ARE YOU ASLEEP?" Arceus asks loudly.

"YES!"

"KayKay! Hey, let's repeat the numbers of pi!"

It was going to be a loooooong night.

* * *

 **AOTD-My favorite of mine is Orbs of Life.**

 **I'm sorry if you got in trouble with the "I THINK I WOULD LIKE A LARGE CHEESE PIZZA" thing...**

 **Please review!**

 **-Static Eevee 198**


	8. Kids like you should be burning in HELL

**(A/N): Happy birthday Pokemon! You are an awesome franchise! Without you, these stories and my hobby as a fanfic writer would not be possible!**

 **I was going to publish this a little later, but I figured I should do something for the occasion so here ya go.**

 **Soooo, I should update OoL, but I just realized I need a better name for Leaf and Absol's abilities, so that's given me a bit of a stump...**

 **QOTD-How did you first get into Pokemon, what was the first Pokemon you actually saw (Excluding Pikachu), your first starter, and your first game?**

 **ONTO THE TEXTING WAR! UNDERTALE REFERENCES!**

* * *

Another normal day meant another treasure, which was good. Arceus hadn't bothered me at all today, surprisingly.

So it should've been obvious how badly he would've screwed it up this time, right?

Nah, I was too stupid to realize that everything was bound to go horribly wrong.

"Why are we here again?" Meatball asks again. He's the most comfortable of everybody, because he's still on his cloud. However, it was starting to evaporate, slowly getting smaller and smaller and smaller...

I sigh. "I told you like a million times."

"Tell me again!"

"But I don't want to!"

Meatball frowns. "Meanie! I hate you!" He sticks his tongue out at me and turns away.

"Fine!" I snap. "So today I wake up, and there's some random guy in my room. Guess who it was?"

"Humpty Dumpty!" Meatball guesses.

I shake my head. "No, it was Arceus."

"I thought you said Arceus didn't bother you today!" Meatball interrupts.

"I never said that!"

"Yeah, you did! And it appeared above our heads right after our theme song!"

"…Theme song?"

"Of course!" Meatball chirps. "It goes like this!" The jolteon clears his throat and launches into singing. "BADADOOP DOOP, DADDADOOP-DEE! Dah-DOOo-DEEEE-DAWWWWWWWW! Jay…and..his awe-some side-kick! WHOOOO-AAAAAAHHHH! Da _MEEAAAAAATBAAAALLLLL! A_ aaaaaaaaWOWOWOWOOA! Jaaaaay, and Meeeaaatball, go-ing, oo-oon, awe-some, ad-veeen-tures! Wooo! Action poses! Cooooooooooool! Daaaa-da-da-doop-daaaaaa! Weee-wee-weee, we-wee-weinies, are a type of HOOOOT DOGGG! WAHH! Singing…a theme…song! Badaddadadada….DAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Can I die yet?" I ask.

"I'm not done!" Meatball snaps. "You should know your own theme song!" He keeps singing. "Jay is ugly, so is my raaaaaa-aaaa-men sauce!"

I try very hard not to attack him.

"The ramen sauce makes the iiiiinstant noooooooodles taste…e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eeeeeeven better! Cause the noodles are ugly as well! Swimming in the duck pond, except, THERE'S A BEAR IN THE POOL! Oh, no! No we die! But wait-"

"Yes, wait for the part where I beat you into a pulp if you don't SHUT UP." I growl.

"No! Stop interrupting!" Meatball sighs and returns to the messed up theme. "There's a magical caaaaa-aaaaallll, from AAAAAA-AAAAA-AAAR-SEEEEE-USSS! A-U-C-A-E-B-D, H-I-J-K-T-U….VEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"That's not how you spell Arceus-"

"JAY KEEEEEEEEEEEPS Interrupting….MEEEEEEEEE! Badddoadodododododap! Awoowowowowowoa! Arceus sends the god of death! He kills, everyone, badododoop! Then everything ends in….TRAAAAAAAAGEDYTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! And then, we get….PPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAA, with PEPPERONI!"

Cymbols clashed in the distance. Meatball nodded and raised his arms. "GROW MY CHILDREN!"

"That was the worst. Themesong. Ever."

"NO!" Meatball cries, gasping for air with a heartbroken look. "MY FIANCE LEFT ME, _LEFT ME, I TELL YOOOOOOUUUU!"_

"You're _not_ engaged." I mutter. Meatball gives me a dirty look.

"How do you know I'm not?" He asks slyly.

We sit there in silence for another minute.

"SO. Hell is boring." I finally bring up.

"Same." The jolteon says. "And why are we roommates? Why couldn't I have gotten someone else?"

"We're not _roommates._ " I tell him. "We're…oh, wait, we are roommates. Prison roommates."

"WHY ARE WE HERE?" Meatball starts screaming again, chewing on the walls of our cell and rubbing his face against a ham sandwich.

I do a combination of a groan and a sigh. "Do I have to repeat myself?"

"Of course not." Meatball says. "You control your voice. OBVIOUSLY." Little rainbows sprout out of the small puff of white that is his cloud now, evaporated from the heat.

"Then I choose not to." I decide, crossing my arms.

Meatball shrugs. "Are you going to flashback?"

"Yes."

* * *

 _I woke up as normal. Yay. That's very rare. Anyways, I went to school, and aaaaaaallll day, it was normal! Awesome! So I went to bed, without any Arceus-related problems! HOORAH!_

 _But at midnight my phone starts going off like crazy with insane text messages._

HE'S IN YOUR HOUSE!

Sorry autocorrect he's in your hose

WAIT HE'S ON YOUR BACK YO!

Lol autocorrect he's in your backyard hahaha

OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO HE'S IN YOUR ROOM!

*I meant roof lol again I'm such an idiot...

A _s you might have been able to guess, these were all from Arceus. So I'm really creeped out. I get up and look around, and there's nothing. So I text back._

JAY-Dude what are you talking about?

PAININTHENECK-Ahhhhh there's a fly I'm texting you about.

Y _eah…A FLY. SO. Things get ugly on that chat that night. We had a RP'd battle on our phones._

 _I won, but apparently, Arceus let me win because he felt 'extreme regret...'_

 _Well. After that, I tried to go back to sleep, but he kept texting me._

PAININTHENECK-Lol did you hear about the tofu guy?

Jay-Arceus I'm trying to sleep here.

PAININTHENECK-Aaah, youth, so young, such wild dreams...

Jay-I won't dream at all if you don't stop making my phone explode.

PAININTHENECK-Don't worry, Jay! ^-^! (That was an emoji!) I have supplies if your phone explodes! If it does, it means i want you dead. SO. Is your phone exploding?

Jay-Not literally, but it keeps going off...

PAININTHENECK-That's terrible! (0o0) (That was also an emoji lol)

PAININTHENECK-Are you dead?

Jay-I'm about to kill someone.

Jay-Named Arceus

Jay-If he won't stop.

PAININTHENECK-How rude of you!

PAININTHENECK-Oh and btw you can't kill me I'm immortal lol 

PAININTHENECK-You just got dunked on bruh lol having a bad time?

Jay-Yes

Jay-A very bad time.

Jay-K

PAININTHENECK-Lol I trixed you! Trix are for kids!

Jay-?

PAININTHENECK-Wait brb someone's at the door k

Jay-Don't come back.

PAININTHENECK-Jay, Yveltal came over! Hang on let's group chat!

Jay-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PAININTHENECK-Hang on you have a different name for me. I'm going to change the names to defaults so the Groupchat is better.

Jay-ARCEUS

Jay-I

Jay-SWEAR TO ARCEUS

PAININTHENECK_What do you swear to me?

Jay-I SWEAR TO YOU THAT I'M GOING TO DELETE YOUR TEXTS AND PHONE NUMBER AND NEVER TEXT YOU AGAIN!

Jay-ITS 1:46 AM! WHY ARE YOU TEXTING MEEEE?

Bootyful-brown-PeanutButter-Hi Jaser!

Jay-Wait who's that guy?

Fluffy-Bathrobe-Hats-Ahhh that's Yveltal Jay

Jay-Ummm who are you?

Fluffy-Bathrobe-Hats-It's me, your best friend!

Fluffy-Bathrobe-Hats-ASRIEL DREEMUR.

Jay-Idk anyone named Asriel Dreemur wrong number.

Fluffy-Bathrobe-Hats-It's Arceus, I put us on group chat so the names switched to defaults.

Jay-O

Jay-What's Asriel Dreemur?

Fluffy-Bathrobe-hats-GAAAASSSP

Bootyful-brown-peanutbutter-Do you guys like my face?

Jay-no

Bootyful-brown-peanutbutter-GAAASSSP

Bootyful-Brown-peanutbutter-Wait what are we gasping about?

 _And suddenly, Arceus and Yveltal appeared in my room. Arceus was eating raw onions. Yveltal was sucking on a pacifier._

 _"JAY!" Arceus screams. "THAT IS SO MANLY!"_

 _"Um-What?" i ask, confused._

 _"YOUR TONGUE!" Arceus howls in his deep Yo-Bruh-I'm-god-so-don't-mess-with-me-or-I'll-rip-you-to-tiny-lil-shreds-yolo-lol-lmao-insert-emojis-here-ow-author's-hand-hurts-but-man-am-I-a-fabulous-god-or-what-don't-say-what-your-life-depends-on-it-lol-I'm-JOHN-CENAAAA voice. "ITS SO ORANGE!"_

 _I stick out my tongue, and it's still that pinkish color it always is. "What are you talking about?"_

 _"I'm talking about how YOU DONT KNOW WHAT UNDERTALE IS!" Arceus screeches in the ever-so-holy_ _Yo-Bruh-I'm-god-so-don't-mess-with-me-or-I'll-rip-you-to-tiny-lil-shreds-yolo-lol-lmao-insert-emojis-here-ow-author's-hand-hurts-but-man-am-I-a-fabulous-god-or-what-don't-say-what-your-life-depends-on-it-lol-I'm-JOHN-CENAAAA voice. Suddenly his eyes glow, and his voice changes._

 _Sucking on his pacifier, Yveltal glances at Arceus as the god Pokemon drops his onions. "Amazement is a state of the rabbit." Yveltal says, his innocent voice muffled by the pacifier. "I killed the rabbit, too. And the amazement! YAY! What are we talking about?"_

 _Arceus looks really weird. All of a sudden, he presses his huge face against mine, which basically means he's crushing my skull. I could smell raw onions._

 _"_ It's a beautiful day outside." _Arceus begins in not his_ _Yo-Bruh-I'm-god-so-don't-mess-with-me-or-I'll-rip-you-to-tiny-lil-shreds-yolo-lol-lmao-insert-emojis-here-ow-author's-hand-hurts-but-man-am-I-a-fabulous-god-or-what-don't-say-what-your-life-depends-on-it-lol-I'm-JOHN-CENAAAA voice, but more of a eeeeey-lookit-me-I-sound-completely-different-than-normal-call-the-ambulance-cause-I'm-about-to-rant-into-meaningless-monologue-woop-woop! voice._

 _I blink. "It's like 2:00 in the morning…"_

 _"_ Birds are singing, Flowers are blooming."

 _"No, they're_ not, _because it's NIGHTTIME."_

"On days like these-"

 _"Arceus, it's NIGHT."_

 _"_ Kids like you…"

 _And then the whole room starts spinning with a weird reddish-black-blue fire, like it was being sucked into a black hole._

 _"_ SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL."

* * *

"Aaaand now we're here." I sum up.

Meatball is staring at me. "You do realize that was all a flashback and I have no idea what you were saying…?"

I sigh. "Can''t you, I dunno, read minds?"

"Ew, no!" Meatball looks revolted at the idea. "But, I do have one question. That story made no sense compared to your description of it like half an hour ago."

"I know." I sigh. "I'm slowly going insane, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are." Meatball saunters over to the toilet and casually sticks his head into it. "C _om_ Pl _et_ eL _y In_ sA _n_ e!" He says, his voice weird and muffled by the bubbles.

Did I mention we're trapped in a bathroom? Yes. The bathroom is hot and disgusting, and the others are trapped who-knows-where, somewhere in this terrible place.

Suddenly, the locked door swings open, and a Pikachu sticks his head into our bathroom-prision-cell. "You guys, we ordered an extra large pizza and Arceus is slinging out tickets."

Both of us are staring at Roman. "Was this door unlocked the whole time?" I ask as Meatball shakes toilet water from his spiky yellow fur.

Roman rolls his eyes. "Uh, yeah. Anyways, we just disabled the anamatronics and killed a guy named Freddy-"

Me and Meatball start screaming. I run up to Roman and grab him by the throat, electricity pulsing through my veins.

"WE-DON'T-DISCUSS-THAT-DISGUSTING- _SIN_ -HERE!" I growl. "UNDERSTAND?"

Roman gulps. "Can you use it in a sentence?" He asks bravely. "About the chairs? And the mozzarella lightbulbs?"

I sigh. There's no point of talking through to him. "Just keep your mouth shut about FNaF and we've got a deal."

"Whoospy Kay Katniss Brand dog chow!" Meatball says, and I'm not sure if he's agreeing or not.

"KayKay." Roman says. Can you let go, first? I want a slice of the mustard and raw onion pizza before it's taken." I let go, and the Raichu rushes away excitedly.

"Wait." I say. "Pizza? Tickets?" Those STUPID COMERCIALS rush into my head. "Nooo…."

I stagger outside and see that we are not in hell, but something much, much, MUCH worse.

Sticky carpets.

Games.

Tickets!

PIZZA!

"AHAAAHAHAHAHHAHA!" I scream, running around in circles.

"Whatup?" Meatball asks, stepping outside. His dark blue eyes widen as he sees where we are.

"NOOOOO!" The jolteon screams. "THEY ARE NOT AS GOOD AS BOXERS THE YELLOW FISHIES!"

"ARCEUS!" I cry. Surprisingly, the Alpha Pokemon apears at my side.

"Hmm?" He asks, munching on what appears to be a mustard and raw onion slice of pizza.

"THIS IS WORSE THAN HELLLLLL!" I'm basically crying.

"No!" Arceus says gleefully. "The _bathroom_ is the only bad part. But here!" He gestures to the building of kiddie games and rip-off things. "This place is great!"

"NOOOOOOO ITS NOOOOOOOT!" I'm yelling louder than possible. "CHUCK E CHEESES IS WORSE THAN THE BATHROOM!"

Because we were at Chuck E Cheeses!

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!

* * *

"And _That's_ how the Zombie Apocolypse began!" Roman says, closing the tape. He beams at us excitedly. "So? What'd you guys think?"

"I think you're gonna nail the insane filmmakers competition!" I say. "That was scary! And really realistic!"

We're all sitting on the couch with Popcorn. Roman had just shown us his entry for the Insane Filmmakers Competition, and to be honest, it was decent enough not to make me pull my fur out!

Pssh, sure, I had bias because I was acting in it, but it was still good!

"We should send this to BRB!" Meatball suggests.

"Nah." Roman says. "BRB is too busy. Buuuut I'm sure that LJF will make it into a blockbuster!"

"Lame Joke Films?" I ask, tilting my head. "That's kinda extreme, but you're right, more likely than Big Real Blockbusters. You should just focus on winning, first."

"NO!" Roman suddenly gets a crazed look in his eyes. "THE WORLD ISNT READY FOR MY EPIC TALENT!" With that, he throws the tape out the window, crashing both the window and the video.

The Pikachu brings a balled first to his chest, his eyes shut. A single cliche tear drips down his cheek. "I had to." He says in that dramatic teary sorry regretful voice. "I had to! I'm SORRRRRYYYYYY!"

Roman marches away, sobbing, as dramatic heartbroken music plays.

"This is another movie, isn't it?" I ask.

Yveltal shrugs. "It means I can do this!"

The world explodes and everyone dies.

Just kidding, nothing happens.

Oh, but Yveltal punches me in the face and I go unconscious.

Yay...No, not yay. My life sucks and we all know it.

Hoorah.

* * *

 **(A/N): The last time I was at Chuck E Cheeses I was really small, but I see a ton of commercials.**

 **Jaegothis, if Roman is still a jolteon, sorry.**

 **AOTD: I got into Pokemon with the little mini chapter books, The first Pokemon I saw was Lapras, my first** **starter was a fennekin named-GASP-FENNEKIN! And my first game, as you may have guessed from the starter, was X.**

 **Review and do the QOTD or Arceus will make sure _you_ burn in Chuck E Cheeses.**


	9. Game Show, The Infinite Nothing: PART 1

**(A/N): Aaah, that type of year again, when I can't write because I'm playing Undertale.**

 **Or is that every year?**

 **Anyways, I'm currently away from my game for a week, so I'll be writing more. Yaaaaaaaay.**

 **Take this poop I whipped up in less than an hour. There's 2 parts so I could get the writing out faster, the second part will be much better** **quality. Again, sorry for my extreme laziness. This is probably the shortest chapter I've ever written.**

 **QOTD: Got a Pokesona?**

* * *

 _Suddenly there was a giant rainbow!_ My mind screamed.

 _Wait what. That makes no sense._ My brain shot back.

 _YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE JAY!_ It screamed defiantly.

 _What the heck this is not how minds work._ The actual sane part of my brain rationed. _I thought we were intelligent organs that bodies depended on..._

 _Unicorns are a vegetable!_ The crazy part of me said.

 _SHUT UP MIND!_

 _YOU SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!_

YOU _SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE!_

* * *

"GahOhmygoshthatwasareallyweirddream." I gasp in one breath as I jolt awake. For a second it seems like a regular morning, but then I realize it's darker in my room than usual. I blink for a second before looking up.

"Oh." I say. "Two shadows above my bed that gaze down mysteriously. Is it already Tuesday?"

"NoooOOoooOOoooOOOOooooOOOOOO..." One of the shadows mutters quickly, words drawn out. "It's..um…Canada!"

"There's no Canada in the world of Pokemon." I explain. "Unless if you mean Canada as a day, then, no."

"Darn!" The shadow curses. "My cover has been blown! We need to escape!"

"E-escape?" The second shadow seems petrified at the thought. "B-but I've got a family, man!"

The first shadow grabs the second and shakes it. "You know what you signed up for!"

"I don't!" the shadow being shaken wails. "I doooooooonnn'ttt! I don't know how to reaaaaaaddd!"

The first shadow gasps, dropping his…erm….partner, I guess? Yeah. "Y-you don't?" He asks, sounding shocked.

"NOOOOOO!" The second shadow's wail is full of pain. "I lied! You don't deserve me!"

"What about when I asked you about the menu special?"

"It wasn't soup!" the second reveals dramatically. "It…was… _stew_!"

The first shadow's gasp rings out loud and clear. "I ATE STEW! I THOUGHT IT WAS AN OLIVE! …Or did I think it was a piece of Bacon Pie?"

"Can you guys maybe do your drama elsewhere?" I ask. "I'd like to go back to sleep."

"NO!" The first shadow straightens and clears its throat. "We'll deal with the 'stew' situation later. We need to kidnap you!"

"Idiot!" Shadow #2 snaps at Shadow #1 angrily. "You don't announce when you're about to kidnap somebody, Dumbo!" Again, they're shadows, but #2 slaps #1, not hard though.

"I don't have ears!" Shadow #1 screams, completely loosing his temper. He fullout attacks #2 in his rage, and I can hear loud fight noises.

"Back to sleep." I decide, curling back up and closing my eyes as the fight continues.

"NO!" Both shadows scream at the same time.

"Get the blindfold!" #1 hisses.

"I can't find it!" #2 gasps in fear.

"Well great, now he knows too much!" #1 thinks for a second before making an excited chirpy sound. "We'll wipe his memory!" They clear their throat. "MEMORY WIIIIPE!"

Something slightly damp flies at my face. I pull it off and stare at the small, thin, slightly moist white rectangle.

"Dude, this is a baby wipe." I say, tossing it away.

"WE MUST CONVERT TO PLAN AO345434!" Shadow #1 screams at #2.

"What about the other plans?" #2 asks.

#1 touches their chest dramatically. "We need to let go." They announce.

"KK." Next thing I know, a ton of balloons, dynamite, and other miscellaneous items are flying all over the place.

"Shoot. Was one of them kill him?" #1 asks as a dagger flys past us. I swerve away and it thunks into the wall.

"Maybe…" #2 scratches its head.

"Can I leave?" I ask.

"NO! PLAN AO345434!"

Everything goes darker as a huge sack that smells like potatoes goes over my head.

"How does he get knocked out by being put in a Potato Sack?" #2 sounds confused.

"Oh yeah."

So then I black out.

* * *

 **(A/N): Duuun Duun DUUUUUNNN! A CLIFFHANGER!**

 **AOTD: Static, of course….**

 **Any stories in particular I should be working on right now? I'm having some writers block with OoL but I can still work with it…**

 **-Static Eevee 198**


	10. I'm quitting, please read this

**Did I scare anyone? Hope not...**

 **I'd better explain.**

 **This is just me venting out some thoughts on a keyboard. It'll be messy and unorganized, but I need to say it and I don't know how else.**

I'm still going to be _on_.

I just won't be writing.

PM me, I'll answer/talk. Publish a new chapter, I'll happily read and review.

But I'm kinda...done...with Pokemon fanfics. I just don't feel as interested, and I feel like they're...cringey? I'm not sure. I'll probably leave them up, though. It was a shame, really. I had a lot planned out, and I had like 3 books planned out for OoL. But I can't continue. I feel guilty whenever I come on here.

I want to focus on my original stories that I'm working on, my art, animation, things like that.

However, I might still work on Evening of Stars. I still feel pretty happy with that, and working with it is the most fun for me. Even though it's my least popular main story...I dunno.

You guys are awesome.

Hope you understand.

Thank you for all the reviews I've received, they've made me feel encouraged to keep writing. And I am. This site has helped me hone my skills as an author, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. Your constructive criticism, your love, your views, I appreciate it so, so much.

I'm not sure if this is just a bad writers block, but I've been considering this for a while...

I might upload some of my unfinished chapter drafts if anybody really wants?

I can see the confusion this is.

I need to thank Dranicus101 and Contradictory Cynicism (Man Jae, that new name. I'ma call you Jae cause I'm used to that.) Dran was my first friend, my first reviewer, my first help. And Jae...well, you're amazing sarcasm, I'll give you that. Thanks both.

This is making it sound so sappy and like I'm leaving my will and stuff...hmmm...

Welp, I'm not sure what to say. Hope you guys liked my work? It's so hard getting down what I mean...

Oh, another thanks to Quilava's Storybook! You're constructive criticism helped me so much too, and you're a great friend.

I'd like to know what story you most enjoyed on here, even though I've asked that before.

* * *

I'm going to probably be a beta, so if you'd like me to..beta-stuff one of your stories, let me know and I'd be happy to!


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